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You’d think the sign would say it all, right?
Yesterday Jon took me through to the Lion & Rhino Park out in the middle of nowhere, near my old farm. What an electrifying experience! Not only did I get to see baby lions, stand less than 40cm away from a real life Siberian tiger (and not a baby one either – it was big!), I also got to watch a cheetah race 4 grown human men. And, to top it all off, I nearly wee’d in my pants after I’d stopped wanting to vom, because I kinda got electrocuted.
It’s true. Jon asked me to get up and closer to take a photo of a leopard, but through the fence, he didn’t want lines in his photo. So me, being the ever obliging girlfriend, got up and personal, and got zapped at the same time. Can I just tell you – it’s really not as fun as one would think.
I heard a ZWAAAPPA! in the air and then a DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN in my ears and then a BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ in my head. Not to mention my tongue was letting off some acidic spit, my throat was on fire, I didn’t know if I should cotch, wee, cry or lay down until the urge went away. All the while, being completely grateful that I didn’t drop my new Blackberry in the leopard cage. Cos, you know, being electrocuted aside, losing my Blackberry woulda suuucked.
After my body stopped trembling and I stopped wanting to pass out, Jon asked for permission to laugh. I got the giggles. And then I nearly ran into a balding weird looking bird.
And that’s not all! Once we got back to my place, I realized that Salamander (the middle kitten, the one remaining, the one who will live at home with us) was missing. Jon and I heard him next door, in the bush, stuck in a tomato tree. He was too small to jump back over the wall and too stupid to go back the way he came, through a hole in the ground.
So I bravely mustered up all my courage, coaxed him to the sound of my voice, Jon deployed Seasea Cat (Salamander’s mom) to go fetch him, and finally he jumped up where I could grab him, through our electric fence. AND I GOT SHOCKED AGAIN!!!!! But not before I stood barefoot, into a rotten tomato.
So, two electrical shocks later, a day of cats taking up my time, almost losing my Blackberry to a leopard (that would have trumped all my other phone stories though, in retrospect) and some QT with my giggling boyfriend, I was a little grateful the weekend came to an end. I don’t know how much more trouble I would’ve been able to live through, hey.
Happy fake Mondaze!
15 Comments to “You’d think the sign would say it all, right?”
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jesus christ, you’re a numbnuts SLG.
For true and for serious.
Dumbass.
xx
LOL! Yeah, we were at the park with the company last weekend and I almost got shocked as well but a mate pulled me back at the last minute!
If you were a guy, then technically ExMi’s numbnuts tag would have been quite accurate at that particular moment don’t you think?
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Good gravy Shebeeliciousness… you really do have some strange adventures don’t you!
LOL!!! just love how you get up to the strangest things… and that explanation of the sounds… the best
Bwhahahahahahahaha! You are hysterical. Glad you are ok tho!
You are a nutcase!
Just laughed so loud my collegues think I’m crazy!
Glad your ok though
LOL, that’s the funniest shit ever, losing the BB to the leopards would have been a massive FAIL though.
I love the part about you having acidic spit.
‘There is a curse. It says, “May you live in interesting times.”‘ — Terry Pratchett
Your comments have kept me chuckling all day. Thanks, assholes.
xx
Mwahaha. Electrifying experience, huh?
You seem to attract a certain amount of disaster, don’t you? If you were a blues singer you would have lots of material for your songs… Luckily you’re a blogger and other bloggers can read and laugh!