You’d think the sign would say it all, right?


Yesterday Jon took me through to the Lion & Rhino Park out in the middle of nowhere, near my old farm. What an electrifying experience! Not only did I get to see baby lions, stand less than 40cm away from a real life Siberian tiger (and not a baby one either – it was big!), I also got to watch a cheetah race 4 grown human men. And, to top it all off, I nearly wee’d in my pants after I’d stopped wanting to vom, because I kinda got electrocuted.

It’s true. Jon asked me to get up and closer to take a photo of a leopard, but through the fence, he didn’t want lines in his photo. So me, being the ever obliging girlfriend, got up and personal, and got zapped at the same time. Can I just tell you – it’s really not as fun as one would think.

I heard a ZWAAAPPA! in the air and then a DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN in my ears and then a BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ in my head. Not to mention my tongue was letting off some acidic spit, my throat was on fire, I didn’t know if I should cotch, wee, cry or lay down until the urge went away. All the while, being completely grateful that I didn’t drop my new Blackberry in the leopard cage. Cos, you know, being electrocuted aside, losing my Blackberry woulda suuucked.

After my body stopped trembling and I stopped wanting to pass out, Jon asked for permission to laugh. I got the giggles. And then I nearly ran into a balding weird looking bird.

And that’s not all! Once we got back to my place, I realized that Salamander (the middle kitten, the one remaining, the one who will live at home with us) was missing. Jon and I heard him next door, in the bush, stuck in a tomato tree. He was too small to jump back over the wall and too stupid to go back the way he came, through a hole in the ground.

So I bravely mustered up all my courage, coaxed him to the sound of my voice, Jon deployed Seasea Cat (Salamander’s mom) to go fetch him, and finally he jumped up where I could grab him, through our electric fence. AND I GOT SHOCKED AGAIN!!!!!  But not before I stood barefoot, into a rotten tomato.


So, two electrical shocks later, a day of cats taking up my time, almost losing my Blackberry to a leopard (that would have trumped all my other phone stories though, in retrospect) and some QT with my giggling boyfriend, I was a little grateful the weekend came to an end. I don’t know how much more trouble I would’ve been able to live through, hey.

Happy fake Mondaze!


  1. StevenMcD says:

    LOL! Yeah, we were at the park with the company last weekend and I almost got shocked as well but a mate pulled me back at the last minute!

  2. Craig says:

    If you were a guy, then technically ExMi’s numbnuts tag would have been quite accurate at that particular moment don’t you think? 😉

  3. bRENT says:

    LOL, that’s the funniest shit ever, losing the BB to the leopards would have been a massive FAIL though.
    I love the part about you having acidic spit.

  4. Hardspear says:

    You seem to attract a certain amount of disaster, don’t you? If you were a blues singer you would have lots of material for your songs… Luckily you’re a blogger and other bloggers can read and laugh!

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