I wanted to start this post by saying, “In 2007, my life changed.” but then I realised that actually it was 2008. No wait, 2004, when my daughter died. Nope, actually it definitely had to be 2003, when I fell pregnant. But again, surely it would then be 2002 when I met the father? Ok wait, my life definitely changed in 2009 when I moved away. Eventually I had to go have a lie down, because, complicated. And then just as I was making a cuppa, I realised that every year brings change. Every year, I experience new things and new people and new situations. Things change whether we like them to or not. Change is something I don’t do well, but when its forced upon me I tend to not only survive it, but make it into something that I embrace. Hahahaa. If only that were true. I bloody hate change, change is my nemesis.
So I then decided I was looking at this all wrong. In order to try and get a handle of what/when/how change has changed me, I thought about events rather than dates that have changed me. One such event was meeting Cath (who tagged me to do this post, actually). Some of my older readers will know all about that story, but for those that don’t you can read about her take on our friendship here, where she tags me on her #LoveChange story (PS: there’s a competition at the end of the post, so keep reading here before you click away to Cath, that cow can wait!).
Reading Cath’s story took me back to a time where the monies were few and the midnight tea chats were plenty, yes, but it took me to a time of supreme insecurity, uncertainty, too few qualifications and a whole lot of pretending to be something and someone I wasn’t (at the time). Basically, I was suffering from a little something called ‘The 20s’. Show me one person who didn’t feel like they had everything to prove at that age, right? For instance, at the time I was a waitress at a restaurant named after Hemingway, so I blogged about having a job where I got to play around with words for a living. I wasn’t confident enough to admit I was just a waitress, I had to go and add a bit of flair. I guess I’ve always been creative, I’ll tell you that much.
After a few years of really trying my hardest to get away from my past and pretend I had a different story to tell, I eventually landed up in Joburg, where I was on a farm in the middle of nowhere with nothing but horses to look at, a post-office tannie to talk to and my laptop to write on. And write I did. Somehow that writing landed me a career in social media. And that job, despite me feeling that I was inadequate the whole time, landed me a life I never knew I could have. One where I didn’t need to worry about where my next meal was coming from, or how I would ‘cover up’ my inadequacies, because I accidentally found out that I was pretty damn good at my job. And that felt great. And so I felt great. And because I felt great, I started attracting other people who felt great, and one of those people was the man I now call my husband.
Let’s back up a bit here for those of you who don’t know the younger version of blogger me, I used to be very vocal about relationships (or as I called them back then, relationshits). I hated the idea of relationships and mistrusted most of the male agenda. I’d been single for 5-ish years when I met Jon, and when I met him, it was like the universe said, ‘oh, there you go, your new life has arrived, finally’. And after only 3 years or so, I started believing it myself.
Aside from teaching me about normal, healthy relationshippy love, Jon taught me that I have a voice, that I matter, that what I want matters, and more importantly than anything else, he gave me a very, very special gift. He taught me that I have a say and can control some things in my own life. He taught me that the decisions I make can definitely impact on my own happiness. Granted – there will always be some things we cannot control, but I’ve learned the skills of adaptation, you see. And with adaptation, change doesn’t seem so scary after all. For instance, I’ve adapted to:
- Changing my single mindset to being one half of a married couple (okay wait, the marriage bit is still a bit foreign to me, I’m getting there still…)
- Becoming a mom to 2 x furry boy cats
- Living in one place for longer than 5 years (I still can’t believe I’m in the same house – I grew up with a set of nomadic parents)
- A career where I’m considered a senior specialist in my field, that’s pretty damn important to me
That’s not bad for someone who always hated change, right? *pats self on back*
Now it’s your turn! #LoveChange, and win R2000!
BrightRock loves change and now, they’re looking foryour big change story. Share your story about your experiences with one of Life’s biggest Change Moments – whether it’s Landing that Job, Tying the knot, Starting a Family or Making a Home – and you could win R2 000 in cash and the chance to become a regular contributor on BrightRock’s exciting Change Exchange -http://changeexchange.co.za It’s an asking, learning, sharing, changing space – packed with tips and tools to help people live through, and even love, life’s greatest Change Moments.
Here’s how to win:
Submit your #LoveChange story – of no more than 650 words via the “Your Story” tab on the Change Exchangehttp://changeexchange.brightrock.co.za/submit-an-article/. Feel free to upload a pic to go with it, or include a link to an Instragram pic or YouTube video. You’ll find all the competition rules on the Change Exchange.
#LoveChange entries close 31 Oct 2014. Ts & Cs apply.