Two days ago, Jon and I officially didn’t celebrate the fact that we’ve been together for 5 years. Firstly, because everyone keeps telling us that our old anniversary doesn’t count anymore, and secondly because actually we forgot. Marriage, the real romance killer. Haha, I’m just joking – we’ve decided that we’ll still go all out, but focus on our new, proper, married anniversary. So bring on June 21 2015 – because I got schnaaed out of being spoilt rotten since our last anniversary was up to me to arrange. NERT KERL, JERN!
In the 5 years we have been together, and in the 4-odd years we’ve lived together, Jon’s mom has never been to our home. She lives in CT now, so that’s probably the biggest reason. But now, we’ve convinced her to come up and visit – so she’ll be here on Friday, the day before my birthday, for one night and then the following Thursday for another night or so. I AM SO NERVOUS!
Basically, it means we need to renovate the entire house. Also, we need new curtains and linen and carpets and a better bed and OHMYGODLETSCHANGEVERYTHINGJONSMOMISCOMING!
- What if she finds a spec of dirt somewhere?
- Thank god I don’t smoke anymore*
- What do I feed her? What if she hates my food? (How often do Mothers In Law need to be walked**?)
- Are there enough Jon-family photos in our house? Oh shit, there are way more of my family photos. MUST REARRANGE ALL THE PHOTO FRAMES IMMEDIATELY.
- Has Thembi dusted the pantry shelves recently?
- Do I get rid of all the evidence of sexual things in our house like Lube, the un-used condoms from 2011, my lingerie? God forbid she knows her son has S.E.X. That would be terribly embarrassing.
- GET RID OF ALL THE PORK IN THE FREEZER!
Of course, in my brief to Thembi this morning, I asked her to start making everything perfect. So she cleaned the carpets of the bedrooms and forgot to air out the room and now everything smells like sour milk up in this place. THANKS THEMBS! She came into the room with her nose blocked now just before she left for the day and apologised and blamed her pregnancy brain. We’ve all been there, I suppose.
Any advice for me, you guys?
*Oh, yes, btw, I’m no longer a smoker. 5 weeks free and counting from cigarettes. Thanks, Twisp!
** That’s just a silly joke to showcase my ignorance of how to host a Mother In Law, this is my first one you know! I’m totally out of my comfort zone here, people!