What happens behind closed screens

…when its an online convo between two singletons of the opposite sex destined to fuck around but never take it seriously:


9:57 PM SheBee: you don’t love me any more :'(

Pieletjies: or any less

SheBee: I’m breaking up with you. all you do is whine about how busy you are and pay me NO attention.  what kind of online lover are you?

9:58 PM: Pieletjies: lol.   i got a new iphone! 3g

SheBee: : did you?! thats fabulous. black or white?

Pieletjies: black

SheBee: good choice apparently the white ones are all cracking.

i got a GPS and a GHD

Pieletjies: i got a bsc and a vip

SheBee: I got a std and hiv

Pieletjies: : oh man

SheBee: i win, right?

Pieletjies: yes. fuck yes.  fuck me I cant see my glasses are all misted up

SheBee: steam ironing your penis will do that to you’

Pieletjies : from laughing man

SheBee: who’s your mate Justin [on facebook – Ed]  tell him i’ll shtup him for free and everything.  What a hottie!

Pieletjies: he’s a screaming queen

SheBee:  ah fuck man!  i always accidentally perv at gay men 🙁   i suck

10:06 PM Pieletjies *censored censored censored*

Pieletjies 10:05 PM this phone is AWESOME.  i swear my *censored* just grew an extra 4 inches. since I put on my facebook status that I got a 3g iPhone – I have had 4 hot chicks add me as a friend

10:25 PM SheBee: charming

10:29 PM Pieletjies: dont even laugh, they’re gonna send me pics of their panties for me to virtual sniff

10:30 PM SheBee: even if you get panties it still won’t beat the presents i’ve gotten recently. My online people kick ass.

Pieletjies: so, you would shtup a gay man, but not me? Whats wrong with me?

10:31 PM: SheBee: lol.  i think we’ve established that i would shtup you

but we’ve decided that would fuck up the relationshit or whatever gay phrase you used

10:32 PM so now you gotta put up with me checking out your mates, gay or not

Pieletjies: um would you settle for a 68 ?

10:33 PM: SheBee: where’s the last 9?

Pieletjies: a 68 is like a 69 except you do me first and I owe you one.



  1. shebee says:

    D – halllooooooo. I miss you on twitter man, you’ve been so quiet this week!

    Stef – LOL. its such a silly word.


    ROUGH TRANSLATION : penises.

  2. Andre says:


    Not to get all dutchy on you…but a better translation would be ‘small penises’ .

    *skips away, laughing hysterically*

  3. Amy says:

    ” you do me first and i owe you one ” – freakin hil-hairy-arse! Also, calling yourself Penises or Small Penises or whateva….. yep, thats funny too.

  4. Not Really Pieletjies says:

    She obviously changed my name to protect my identify ‘n all.

    Sheena is one funny nut. I woke up still giggling.

    And for whoever was curious, when she mentioned that she wanted to shtup my gay friend, what she censored out was me saying that if she wanted to have sex with him, she’d have to put mud in her vagina.

    Apparently she thought that was a bit nasty.

  5. shebee says:

    Ag no sis man!

    You just put the ‘eeeeew’ back into “sinew”.
    And the ‘gross’ back into “engrosed”.
    Or the ‘siff’ back into “syphalis”.
    The ‘ugh’ back into “ugh libbe dugh” [sic]

  6. shebee says:

    Aww Ches, sorry babe! Upload an avatar. Oh no, you can’t – you’re with BLOGGER!

    sis barf cotchbag!

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