Turning Karma Upside Down

Right.  So, in the manner of Earl (from that mnet I am Earl program, whatever it’s called) I would like to know where to start in order to get my karma levels balanced out.
I’ve had a shit load to process lately and all of these things tell me I have one of two options to fix myself:
I possibly need Jesus. Much like Santa, The Easter Bunny and flying purple piglets – I am not the most faithful of persons I know.  Also, that whole “I caren’t see or touch or smell him” thing kind of puts me off.  I’m a physical kind of chick.  I like to feel the men in my life.  So, the other option is:
Write a list of all (some) of the bad things I’ve done in my life and make it right. 
Here goes nothing:
I should confess to writing all those those fake Phys Ed notes I gave to Ms. W in High School.  Except the one genuine note my mom wrote for me that put me in Detention for being a liar.  Apparently 12 year olds are too young to have periods.  Stupid ho, how could she doubt my bleeding capabilities?  *ahem*
Should have told Tiff that burning bibles and class text books was probably not such a great idea.  At school.  In the trees.  Where we were smoking.  In school uniforms.
Have I ever mentioned that I’m a phone-phobic? I am one of those annoying people who reject calls because I don’t feel like talking, and I am definitely one of those “let-voicemail-pick-it-up-if-its-important” people.  Others hate this about me, and I’m told negative things about myself and what should be done with my middle finger constantly.  Maybe I should up my game and start talking to people. Then again, meh.
I procrastinate a lot.  I want to do thing, don’t get me wrong, I just never do.
I cheated on that one dude that one time with that one ex.  Not cool.
I used to happen to be the worst kind of receptionist in the world.  I’d let people walk into the building and get lost just because they didn’t greet me or bother to ask where they should be going.  I also used to look at the switchboard ringing and file my nails instead. And if mistresses called in, I’d give the men fake messages from their wives to call instead.
Oh well, lets see if it improves karma any.


  1. angel says:

    i procrastinate too doll… waaaaaaaay too much.
    and i must admit that i have ignored my phone on a number of occasions because i don’t feel like talking!

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