Telkom ADSL lines: Wtf?

SheBee: kicking arse and taking names.

XBOX 360 Lips - the greatest game of ever.

*Ginger and SheBee singing XBOX Lips.  SheBee kicking arse and taking names.  Ginger not accepting fate and demanding re-match after re-match*

Okay, 1,2,3,4 GO!

“And Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii I’m gonna soak up the suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun

Gonna tell everyonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnne toooooooo lighten uuuuuuuuuuuuuup-”

Piano, the only male in the house, also happens to be fighting with Telkom ADSL support on the phone:  “YOU TWO SHUT UP! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT UP. I CAN’T TAKE ANY MORE! [speaking back into the telephone receiver] No, I’m sorry what was that? I can’t hear you over THE TWO CATS IN MY LOUNGE BEING SKINNED ALIVE!  Pardon me? No, I was referring to my female housemates.  No I promise, they’re humans.  Don’t do that – there’s no need for the SPCA, I was JOKING!  Hello?  Hello?! […some time passes…] That’s just fucking great, guys – I was on hold for 45minutes before they answered!”

Ginger and I look at each other and smile at the same time our eyes light up.  “Hey! That’s what we can call our band! The Skin Cats!” we scream together excitedly. Piano promptly packed up his balls and left the lounge.

But that’s not what I wanted to talk about today, I have an issue with Durban’s Telkom signal.  Has anyone else noticed the issues we’re having lately?  We are lucky enough to have the fastest connection available in South Africa to date, a 4gb line.  Yet I swear its like being on dial-up most nights.  Any suggestions or answers would be appreciated, kthxbi.


  1. Andre says:

    I 2nd B.
    (never thought *that* could be a complete english sentence… Winner!)

    Telkom Error Message:
    “Your Internet *will* be slow. Why? Fuck you. That’s why.”

  2. exmi says:

    telkom can suck my ass.

    by the way, how you larny?

    how’s you-know-who?

    oh why don’t you go bump uglies with someone already!

  3. Shebee says:

    OH MY SACK! Ginger, we are SO going to call our band The Skin Cats, don’t even try go all coy on me now.

    And yeah, you do give me a run for my money. But only sometimes 😛

  4. Harison, Eric says:

    It’s very hard to find genuine good feedback on Telkom ‘DSL’ lines.

    Is there a service provider in SA that actually provides?
    Or are they all equally crappy. There must be one that counts as the lesser of all evils.

    Could you guys list a few alternatives to Telkom-45min+-waiting-time-before-the-call-drops?

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