My boystrocity is in danger

I like to think of myself as a girlie tomboy.  I like pretty shoes, the colour pink, the odd household item covered in satin or chiffon and even dressing up on occasion.  But more often than not I’m most comfortable in jeans, a shirt and sandals, I don’t paint my nails very often and I almost never have war paint on my face aside from eyeliner & mascara with a bit of lip gloss on. My mate Tiff always says I should have been a black, boy, punk rocker. 

 

I am more comfortable around boys than I am girls and I can hold my own with discussions of politics, rugby, play station & bikes.  I can perve along with the guys and discuss boobs and cleavage and bikini clad babes. I love wearing a hat when I’m having a bad day rather than fighting with a hair-dryer and mousse.  I hate jewellery, flowers do nothing for me & other people burping really doesn’t phase me.

 

But every now and again I get reminded that I’m a girl.  Every 28 days, to be precise, I am kicked in the gut with hormones, emotions & nipple sensitivity like you wouldn’t believe.  I fly in between moments of insecurity, irritability & irrational girly behavior.  Like cooking and cleaning and crying and wanting to roll around in the flowers and hug a bunny.

 

So, just to toughen myself up a little bit, I want to say – hold the fucking phone, this shit sucks!  Aside from the horrible abdominal cramps, tender boobs, headaches & blood – can I just say:  Period, please, can you take away all the gay Martha Stewartness?

 

Thanks ever so much. 

16 comments

  1. Cheap Thrills says:

    sometimes it sucks being a girl. really sucks. but it’s only for a few days. and nurofen makes the most amazing ‘nurofen period’ pills. they’re huge and really work! they take away the pain and cramps.

    pity they cant remove the blood.

    would’nt it be nice if we could just sit on the loo once a month, for like 10mins and ‘pee’ out all the blood? instead of bleeding for days?

    haha. i’m always reminded of that saying ‘i dont trust women. how can you trust something that bleeds for seven days and doesn’t die’?

  2. shebee says:

    Omg. Exactly. I’ve been reading you, hey. Can’t comment on blogger at work though.

    That convo you had with the boyf about peeing? Totally had that with mine a while ago. He was also in awe. And then grossed out because he realised that where the girls *ahem* “love juice” comes from is in a totally different place than he thought.

    This blog is becoming a bodily-fluid rendition of the L word, I swear. It stops, from today.

  3. B says:

    I used to bleed for almost nine days out of the month.. completely killed me.. so i told my gynae if he doesn’t fix this i am sending him all my used tampons in a box every month..

    🙂 I am not bleeding like a stuffed pig anymore (knew he would see it my way).. but unfortunately I still have the hormonal surge that makes everyone around me a possible homicide victim…

    BTW eeeuw @ all the bodily fluid talk

  4. shebee says:

    Wahahaa – dudes, Leez says ‘please’.

    I think our hormones are taking far too much space.

    Sorry, guys – from now on only trucks, bucks & boobies, m’kay?

  5. Stef says:

    LOL
    that was funny stuff sheebs
    i hate being a woman sometimes
    then i think about being a man with dangly bits
    then i love being a woman once again 🙂

  6. shebee says:

    Glob – too true, too true.

    Stef – Hehehe. Yeah I would rather have one week of hell than a lifetime of dangly bits.

    Leez – Hmmm I dunno hey. Doesn’t it annoy you when it flops around all the time? And when you sit, don’t they get squished?

    Uh-uh, not for me thanks.

Comments are closed.