Mon20Q – Vince on Beat Magazine SA, top on the Shitometer scale right now.

Vincent Hofmann is someone I ran into via Twitter. We’ve since been in contact quite a bit and discovered a few similarities. One of them being that we grew up in the same hometown, at the same time, without knowing it and another thing being that we both like to stir the pot and cause a bit of kak.

One of my pet hates in blogging is the way we all blow smoke up each others asses. A bit of groupie cheerleading is okay (such as me with my favourites, I’m not afraid to show some love, but I don’t count in this critique, I’m perfect remember?) but a lot of the time it’s the same people saying the same things about the same events at the same venues on the same subjects. I don’t want to target a particular group (web 2.0 gurus) because we all (only them, not me) do it.

Enter BeatMagazineSA, the anonymous website created in order to get people a) laughing b) talking c) humiliated in a humble way. In doing this, the cyber land was abuzz with guesses of who the writers were. I had my suspicions all along, but have to admit that it was none other than the lovely Ms Eve who verbally guessed my thoughts. Vincent and Saul have finally come forward and raised their white flags. Just in time, according to my sources who reveal that their (now deleted) post on Tyler Reed had caused a bit of madness and mayhem and almost had lawyers out to work. On a Sunday, nogal!

Because I’m so witty and smart and clever and on the ball (read: insomniac, bored, nothing else to do) I convinced Vincent to give me his precious time and grant me the following interview. Hopefully it will appease some of you geeks out there into calming the fuck down and taking BeatMag with a bucket and a half of salt:

Vince, BeatMagSa… tell me yours and Saul’s inspiration for its creation.

To keep this community humble, to inspire them to remain true who they are and shun their reliance on their online personas

Are you bummed you were caught out so soon?

Yes and no, yes because we relied on our anonymity to make observations of the community as a whole, taking in the negative and positive comments and creating a single satirical blog incorporating both. No because it appears our voices came through very strongly which was perhaps not intended but appreciated

Okay, all the diplomatic words aside, what set the blog off, what made you go “hey, these dudes need to be made fun of. I think I’ll start with Rafiq”

Ah, ok. Yes, all bullshit aside, I wanted to see how far I could push the blogosphere – I wanted to take what is said about everyone (you’re next) both the positive commentary and the negative and combine it to form one somewhat concise, delusional blog. As in the case of the blog I wrote about Nic and those commentators who feel his views of the country are biased by his positive perspective. It was commentary which when confronted could either be taken with a pinch of salt or interrogated. Imagine a cartoonist like Zapiro was taken to task every time he made a satirical point.

Bleh, I’m a Jeremy Nell fan myself, not Zapiro. But yes, I get what you’re saying, I fully support what you guys stand for. I’m so sick of the incestuous ass kissing going on in the SA Cyber world.

Well I’m sick to death of the arse kissing to be honest. I hate the idea that 300 / 400 odd people simply all get along, all the time, never really challenging one another, it’s such a farce.

I’m worried now though, because your names are attached to BeatMag, will the edge be taken off?

No, if any thing I will get more vocal, because as you may have guessed I like the speaking thing and I like to stir things up a bit.

Yes, I do know 🙂 And, the reason I initially started this chat was because I remember something you said to me a while ago, you like calling a spade a spade.

I cannot help it, its in my nature, I don’t sit on the fence, but let it be heard that I’m not an expert / sage I don’t have all the answers and I’m open to being shown that my opinions are off the mark because they are generally subjective. I’m not the messiah; I’m a very naughty boy.

Who is your next target?

A lesbian chick called Sheena.

Oh FOAD. I’m not lesbian!

Hmm, that’s not what it says on BeatMag.

Haha I can’t wait to read it! You not linking to your targets, is that intentional?

Yes, we don’t want to share the love, its internal, the love must be sucked in.

Are you surprised it was one of the first bitches?

The link love issue? Again, I think it’s a measure of narcissism. More than that actually, I’ve been asked to put more links on the site and each time I’ve questioned their intentions, I think that I fear for a community which expects links to return to their sites, Google does not index self worth – most certainly not if you are blogging to share your opinion. I might understand if we were talking about businesses, but I’m afraid the people we blog about are simply people, who probably pick their noses and scratch their privates.

A few people have been wondering who you are and where you came from. Want to give me a quick bio?

Well I’m quite tall, and I have blue eyes. I hail from a small town called Margate and sadly went to a small snobbish school of extraordinarily poor moral values.

Knob! I mean online, where do you slot in?

Where do I slot in? Good question. Well apparently I’m a knob, and I run a couple websites, but my primary interest in a site I co-created with my fiancé called Moralfibre. We’re a small start up clothing / blogging site which will when we sell our shirts become a venture capital fund for young artists, of any medium.

Is it like Springleap?

Good question actually, you already know I think Springleap is a knock off of thread less, and perhaps we’re a knock off of thread less in some way too. We differ in the sense that Moral Fibre is not our primary source of income, it is our hobby and thus try our best to support the artists in whatever way we can, we don’t have prizes, split the profits post the sale of 30 shirts with the artist and try to do everything ourselves, because we simply don’t have the financial backing to do it otherwise.

In a nutshell, if you want our help to create your own brand / label / exhibition etc. then by all means we’re there for you.

Alright, fun questions aside, now onto the all important ones, quick answers, ok?

I’ll try.

What shoe size are you?


Favourite toothpaste


Best SA Band

Silence the Wolves

Current favourite real life blogger


How much money have you got in your wallet right now?

45 South African rands, roughly half a pound and the ticket to success

Name 5 things you want in a sizeless bag that I offer you [can be anything]

Sizeless? I can choose anything in the world?


Aston Martin (Talita’s), Lamborghini (mine), a villa in France, my own digital ad agency and finally a record contract for a couple million for my brothers band.

Any final famous last words?

That’s a toughie. I think I’d like to remind everyone that although its difficult, try to relax and enjoy life, at your own pace if possible – there is something to said for those who remain true to themselves in spite of the pressures of the world and can hold their heads up and really say “I’ve lived”.

*crowd goes wild*

There you have it. Straight from the horses mouth, SheBee style!


  1. vincent says:

    Oh my god, if anyone comes in here to beat me up or beg for me to be publically abused, please tell them “vincent cannot answer your pleas as he has had a sudden and untimely task set upon him. right now, he is mopping up his appendix which ruptured when he realized that the phrase ‘are you having a laugh, is he having a laugh’ isn’t funny in South Africa”.

  2. expensivemistakescheapthrills says:

    that was rad.

    i esp. like the bit about ‘google doesn’t measure self-worth’. well said Mr Vincent.

    I am all for taking the piss out of everything and everyone. As I said on imod, it’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt. then it’s hilarious!

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