Sheena by day, Shebee by all other references. This is my story…
So, I had this conversation last night with a mate, who shall not be named due to me being threatened with eviction*, that left me speechless and in fear of my future pregnancies.
You see, when a woman falls pregnant one of the possible symptoms is developing piles, otherwise termed Hemorrhoids. After much nagging and whining for further elaboration of same such disgusting disease, a glazed look from me in response to her that persons explanation, we resorted to drawing diagrams, as we do in our home** on frequent occasions.
A pen and paper was whipped out and the diagrams began. First drawn was a puckered anus, as they can be found, followed by a grape looking scribble in between the wrinkles. Of course by this stage I had already whipped out my camera and snapped this hysterical moment to be captured for life times to come.
I’m curious to see what its like, not ever having experienced this myself. It’s all very interesting and entertaining. In experiencing this first hand, my friend has even named the grape ‘Millicent’. “Dude, please can I see up your naught?” I ask her this person. “Not, hey” was the answer.
Anyway, the moral of the story is that if you ever find yourself suffering from an unwelcome anal visitor named Millicent, you should never have sex. Because, damn, the dude getting lucky with you will run ten thousand miles, I would imagine.
* Did you get that? It was a hint. Eviction = residential rights with her this person. One guess who threatened me to not name her that person.
** That was another hint [Dummy].
33 Responses for "Millicent The Grape"
Is it just me, or is this a case of over-share? Please promise that this isn’t going to become the first in a series: “Ja, so I was having this conversation with a mate about urinary tract infections…”
Kyk, if this is the first overshare you’ve read of mine, you aren’t here regularily enough…
WAHHAHAHHAH
TMI!!!! TMI!!!!
hold my grape.
hahahahhahaa….
I’m almost too scared to ask but, will you be posting that photo??
oh.. and er… future pregnancies? something we should know???????
Cath – nort, hey.
Swiss – future kids as in WAAAAAAY ahead in time.
We’re all still waiting on your news… bated breath and all that. Spill dammit!
Hehe suspence never hurt anyone, doll
curiously, the first thing that came to my mind was a toga party/orgy where people feed each other grapes.
Oh crap, I just almost gave myself one laughing at this…
Millicent the Grape! Ha ha ha, hilarious!
Paul – Coming from you, I am not in the least surprised.
Ches – LOL, imagine how I laughed last night! Real tears came down my cheeks.
no comment
I’m with Ches on this one – Millicent the Grape BWAHAHA!!
Now, Bee … will you PLEASE spill the beans on your “big news”. I am seriously dying here!!
Jeesh, not even Apple can create this much hype!
Stef – okidoki
Good girl!
JBC – wahaha. I will, soon, promise.
Mwhahahaha I nearly fell off my chair laughing till I remembered my pregnancy………….
Charmy – hehehe ja, i think i was lucky in not getting these. I’ve since had an email from my two best friends both confessing to experiencing Millicents.
Chesie, do you realise that your blog link is wrong? the s and p are switched in blogspot and i get taken to a christian spammy site – is this by accident or something more sinister?
What the hell! OMG…ha! The buggars!
Ha ha, thought you all needed a bit of salvation!
Spelt spot psot! And I call myself a writer…ha ha, sorry!
Thanks SB…
Thought I’d been hacked there! :0
Hehehe, its okay. This Bee is on the ball, don’t you worry
Millicent is nuffing, you must check out my man boobs
Hysterical, Shee! I can’t believe that someone would get so attached to their ummm “grape” that they’d give it a name!
And if they absolutely have to, why “Millicent”? First they named tornadoes after women and now haemorrhoids too? I’m finished!!!!
Eeek *covers eyes for fear of future photos of millicent*
Surely piles – even female piles – should have male names. It’s a blokey kinda disorder, ne?
Steve the grape.
No… RICHARD the grape!
Fat Bastard – oh you make me laugh!
MsB – Hehehe, speak to Cath.
Vendetta – hi & welcome! have added you on the thingamajig you requested.
6k – hahahahahahahahahaha!! I shall not comment.
@MsBehavn
WAHA. I name EVERYTHING.
@Vendetta
No way. ever, not ever.
@6K
there are some good dicks out there, you know..
lol. i have a …no, never mind, it’s spam..
funny article shebee
Tell us, amandz! Tell us! Sharing is caring
its a poem on a cretin thats blighting my life, and your post of a puckered anus is exactly the picture i have in mind when i look at him
And now you know why.
[...] Millicent The Grape [...]
oh my fargin christmas tree that sounds just horrible!!!?!?!
what about if you do it in the dark and no one can see…?
I too found this out very recently from a friend of thirteen years – it took that long for her to tell me. Horrified, I declared that I would never spawn. Luckily the only reason she did tell me is that she finally found something that worked and wanted to spread the good news. So if ya wanna know…
Brilliant! Another blog to grow your Pacific fanbase.
More from Millicent?
Why don't you just bite me?