Just a quickie.

Last week some time Jon and I took two tablets each out of the Fibre & Herb bottles we’d won at weigh-in.  Unfortunately for us, we’d had dinner and only got home at around ten so it was already late when we took them.  Little did we know, we’d be bouncing off the bloody walls!  Eventually at 2am, I looked over to Jon who finally gave into his super power of being able to fall asleep at the drop of a hat and resented his peacefully snoring self with the greatest amount of animosity.

There was nothing on the TV, Twitter was dead, my hard drive was in the car and I was frustrated to all hell because no matter how many sheep I’d counted, I just could. not. fall. asleep.

So I woke Jon up and tried to… cuddle him.  Nothing doing, bru.  He was tired and not in it to win it.  Wussy. So eventually I went for a smoke, put my big girl panties on and got back into bed and forced my eyes shut until I eventually fell asleep.

Anyway, the very next weigh-in we had, I brought up the fact that the Fibre & Herb tablets were horrible and I refused to take them because I couldn’t sleep and Jon snored in my ear and they made me miserable.

The scary Irish granny took one look at the two of us with her little Irish granny eyes, and giggled with her little Irish granny mouth and said on the top of her voice, “well, you’re both bloody young, aren’t you? I can think of a few acts of physicality that I would do if I were your age.  It’s better than viagra, let me tell you!”

Well, let me tell you, I have never seen my boyfriend turn quite such a shade of beetroot.  It was a sight to behold.  Here he was, he of the conservative Jewish nature, with a girlfriend who mouths off about most things, but none of which had EVER managed to make him quite that embarrassed.  My poor Jew.

As we were leaving, I still had the giggles, Jon was still blushing and staring at the floor, and the little Irish granny tapped me on the bum, winked at me and whispered “just crush ’em into his shake, dear, he won’t know what hit him!”.  I snorted.  And winked back.  And tugged Jon’s arm and smiled knowingly.

Jon, at that point, crawled up his own asshole.


  1. Shebee says:

    Snort. Shame no, I prefer knowing that he wants me when *he* wants me, not because I forced non-viagra down his throat.


  2. Dee says:

    Haaaaaaaahahahahah! I want me some of those bouncy pillls!

    I’m so sleepy at work, definitely need something to wake me up!!! 🙂 Luckily i dont have a weeeeny, so i can take em pills, and wont be humping the cubicle!

  3. Angel says:






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