Job inspiration

Looking back through all my years, I’ve been lucky enough to go through a few oddball jobs. I once read in FHM the 10 kakkest jobs to have. I honestly can say that I didn’t include any of my former careers in that equation. This has also made me realise how far I have come in life.

So, for your benefit, I give you 10 of my most weird and wonderful past jobs, in no particular order:

  1. Christmas Gift Wrapper – Yup, one of those annoying kiddo’s who wrap your gifts at the last minute because you couldn’t be bothered. I was full of cheer and christmassy goodness back then too, and used to hum xmas tunes while doing my job
  2. Sex chat lady – I lasted one phone call. But it was lots of fun listening to the other girls, and I was pretty disappointed that I couldn’t stop giggling when it was my turn – the money would have been brilliant!
  3. Au pair to a bunch of dogs – an old lady who couldn’t walk her own dogs paid me to come play with them and shower the smelly fuckers with love and care
  4. Embroidery manager – this I did while I was pregnant, for my mom. My brothers used to laugh that Kiera was going to come out shaking and vibrating from all the work I did on the machines while she was in my tummy.
  5. Waitress in an italian maffia run restuarant – having big boobs as a 14 year old gets you alot of attention. This was were I learnt to be a rebel and started becoming the person I never wanted to be.
  6. Spur steak ranch manager – four years I worked there, FOUR YEARS! I learnt and changed so much in this period. It was where I met Nick, took drugs, fell pregnant, lost my daughter, stopped believing in religion…
  7. Message taker – for an estate agent. My job was literally to listen to voice messages, write them down, and allocate to the different agents. Fun stuff, right?
  8. Debt collector for an unregistered doctor’s practice – I was useless at this. The patients kept telling me their sob stories, and I would give them extensions on payment after I had counselled them on the phone for ages. I eventually got fired for this and was told they had never had such a bad debt collector before. I can’t help I feel sorry for people with no money! Especially sick people!
  9. Game Department Secretary – in the Pilansberg, where I was able to go watch lions mating on my lunch break, or go to bed hearing the call of zebra at night. I used to walk down to a cave some days and literally sit in between troops of baboons and bats and read my book by candle light.
  10. Listing Agent for property – I was the annoying person you sometimes get calling you at 8 o’ Clock at night just as you sit down to enjoy a meal, to ask you about selling your house and giving you a list of reasons and benefits to do so.

So there you have it. I challenge all of you to do your own list of 10 somethings. Thank you Sweetass for my PJ award, I can’t believe I missed it! Ha! I will claim it today honey.

I’ve been reading through my old archives lately, and came across this piece. My god I can be strange sometimes.