Google Searches that lead (weird) people to my blog

  1. Slipper hurt my foot. Well Shame, you poor person you. Please explain to me how Mr. Google can assist you with this current problem?
  2. How to get drunk girls home with me. Well, Sparky, this is how: make sure your nails are clean, because no woman in her right mind will let you touch her anywhere with dirty nails. Once that’s sorted, ensure your person looks presentable and that you are not a sex freak look-a-like. Girls don’t really like that much. How you actually get the drunk girl to your actual house I don’t actually know. Maybe you could ask Jeffery Dahlmer, you sick Fuck!
  3. Woman in KZN looking for audult fun. The place to go: Teasers. You can’t touch them much, but maybe if you sit on your hand long enough and call it Foxy, you might find some loving with a difference once you get back home. Jerk off. And its adult. ADULT.
  4. Famdamily. I have one of those too! Except, mine is slightly bigger than yours and my dad can kick your dads ass.
  5. Portable Pussy. It was a joke people, sheesh! On a serious note, I thought only my internet mate and I were this insane, you don’t actually believe those things are real, do you?
  6. Doing dead people hair for funerals. Wow, that must be a totally awesome job. Not.
  7. Things to do for boyfriends and girlfriends. Well now, one or two things you could try: 1. kamasutra 2. handcuffs.
  8. Something dying inside of me. Dear god, did you eat a frog? I hear those things can’t live long inside you. Get medical assistance, guy, like now!
  9. Is my son doing crack? Jeez, lady, I dunno! You should get one of those drug checker thingies. That might help.
  10. Going home to Jesus. Well, lets hope he cooked me an apple pie, yo. He’s good at that. I’m so glad I married Jesus. Sigh*.

    *Ok, bad joke I’m sorry. I’ll never marry**.
    ** Ha! You thought I was apologizing about the Jesus joke***.
    *** Oh alright, I’m sorry.