DISCLAIMER

I read something similiar to this years ago and doctored it to my own specific needs:

This blog does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either my company, my friends or my family; don’t quote me on that; don’t quote me on anything.

You may distribute this posting and all its associated parts freely but you may not make a profit from it or include the posting in commercial publications without written permission; further redistributions of this blog or its parts are allowed.

Humour is subject to change without notice; humour has slightly been enlarged to show detail; any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental. Humuor is provided “as is” without warranties expressed

Hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat; do not bend, fold, spindle, or mutilate; actual mileage may vary; no substitutions allowed; for a limited time only; this offer is void where prohibited; or implied; user assumes full liabilities; not liable for damages due to use or misuse; no shoes, no shirt; quantities are limited; while supplies last; caveat emptor; read at your own risk; parental advisory – explicit language; text may contain material some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised; keep away from sunlight, pets, and small children; limit one-per-family please; batteries are not included; action figures sold separately; objects may be larger than they appear in the mirror.

Reading this disclaimer may be hazardous to your health; text used in this disclaimer is made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles; If ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist consult a humorologist; slippery when wet; must be 18 to enter. This product may contain traces of nuts; if accidentally jabbed in eye, flush with copious amounts of fresh water and seek medical assistance immediately.

Disclaimer does not cover hurricane, lightning, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, flood, other Acts of God, misuse, neglect, unauthorized repair, damage from improper installation, typos, misspelled words, incorrect line voltage, missing or altered serial numbers, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, customer adjustments that are not covered in this disclaimer, and incidents owing to motor vehicle accidents, airplane crash, ship sinking, leaky roof, falling rocks, mud slides, forest fire, broken glass, flying projectiles, or dropping the item; other restrictions may apply.
Items on this website are copyright. This blog is a natural product. The slight variations in spelling and grammar enhance its individual character and beauty and in no way are to be considered flaws or defects.

Without prejudice, Sheena