about me

Email: sheenagates @ gmail.com

Twitter: @shebeegee

Facebook: http://facebook.com/sheena.gates

As of this writing I’m a twenty something maniac who is not married, never has been and unless the wannabe husbank comes bearing diamonds and a bucket of perfection, is very likely to not ever be.

I’m proudly South African and grew up in Durban, but now live in Joburg, South Africa. I was a mother by the age of 18, experienced the death of my 7month old daughter, buried all my grandparents and also had to deal with my almost boyfriend dying on me just as I realized I was rather attached to him.

I would say I’ve unwillingly become an expert on death, but that shouldn’t fool you into thinking I walk around with my lip dragging behind me. I’m pretty upbeat about life and look forward to challenges because, well damn, if I didn’t have this attitude I would probably be certifiably insane.  Actually, wait – the jury is still out on that one.

This site

was started as my personal journal on dealing with my feelings and progress after my daughter died. I’ve left most of my archives behind what with becoming more public and reader friendly. My raw emotion and thoughts were just too personal to be hanging out on a string for all and sundry to pick off for my liking. As the days wore on and I found I had other things I preferred to write about, I spent a lot of time reading other people’s sites and discovered a love of writing.

When it became clear that this wasn’t going to be a garden-variety life for me, I decided that some of my experiences were just too good or bizarre or unbelievable not to share with every one else, and so ‘If these walls could talk’ was born. This led me to continue my journal in a more public way. I don’t know that anyone who stumbles across my highly opinionated account of my personal experiences will find it exactly useful, but I suppose it’s theoretically possible.

Frantic disclaimer

I hasten to point out that I’m not a doctor. I’m not a lawyer or a reporter. Believe it or not, I’m not even a qualified sexologist. The comments I make about my experiences and my beliefs are the result of my own flawed understanding. Do not take anything I say as advice, and do not assume I think I know what I’m talking about. Sadly, I know I do not. I just like to ramble a tad, it keeps the voices in my head at peace. If you find anything I’ve written offensive, well – sorry for you. Make sure you don’t come back here again, I’d hate to do it twice.

Other frantic disclaimer

A lot of entries are rather graphic, and I am aware that my internal system is of limited interest to the general populace. What can I say? I lost my last vestiges of shame years ago when going in and out of doctor’s rooms and hospitals to open my heart, mind and my legs while pregnant. I also grew up in a large, loud and lunatic household and this has only made me more brazen. For example you may possibly want to test drive your tolerance levels here, here, here and here.

Why I swear

My grandmother always told me that using foul language betrayed a lack of imagination and poor verbal skills. But you try having your abdomen ripped open and going through the experience of another growing human being yanked out of it and then we’ll discuss what kind of language seems appropriate. It’s also a creative outlet. Specifically Afrikaans swearwords, I find them so delightfully descriptive and packed full of oomph! Strangely enough, I only ever verbally swear in front of people I am comfortable with, and never ever in the presence of the elderly.

Religious me

does not exist. I poke fun at, laugh with and respect all you happy clapper / Allah bowers / Mary prayers / idol worshipers / Buddah belly rubbers religious folks out there. Try not be offended or take it personally, because, I hate to break it to you – it probably isn’t even about you. I have my own personal reasons as to why I’m not a believer, and I will never ever try and enforce those on you unwillingly. Please leave this alone. It is not an invitation for anyone to try and convert me, I can assure you that it won’t happen very likely. I’ve got my own beliefs.  There is a God.  But he’s *my* kind of God and has nothing to do with you.  We’ve got a private relationship.

Professional me

I’m always looking for new business ventures, so if you feel that what I write about some how represents what you do to bring home the dough, please contact here.

Personal me

I’m not adverse to dirty underwear, free slaves or just one liners saying hi.  Make a move and don’t be just another silent lurker out there – let yourself be known!

Final word

It’s been known to be said that I am intentionally controversial, narcissistic and crass. Maybe even a little bit insensitive. I would like to go with all of the above, but actually I’m a really nice girl just finding the humorous bi-lines where other people don’t. This often gets me into trouble, and more and more I hear the complaints. Obviously I don’t get off on them, but I have gotten used to it. If you need a tissue for your issue – let me know.