Crouching Pretzel, hidden Ostrich

My left leg was attempting to stretch itself over my right shoulder, my neck bent at an awkward angle and my right hand was numb with pins and needles just starting to set in. Over the speakers I could hear the Ohmming of Budapest monks mixed in with the real breaking wave sounds of the ocean right in front of me, on the shore where my rubber mat was parked on wet grass, suffocating under the weight of my floating pretzel, crouching ostrich positioned body.