Remembering Andrew and all he brought with him

A friend of mine is in love online.  Yes, that’s right, I said online.  It’s something that always fascinates me, since you all know I fell in love with Andrew online.  She’s hopelessly in love, confused, excited, scared and anxious all at the same time.  It’s the first time she’s ever done anything like this and I am loving it on her behalf.

Something not many of you know was that almost the entirety of Andrew’s and my relationship was online.  He died the morning of when he was on his way down to meet me.  I spoke to him the night before and said good night, I was too busy and distracted to notice that he sounded weird on the phone.

Quote of the week:

I wish I could clone you so that I could still be a part of everything you do, but you would still have the space you demand.  Also, you smell nice.  And I miss you.

How to create a family chaos in ten easy steps:

1.  Update your Facebook status:
“SheBee is hanging out on the couch with her blister and her fiance”.

2.  Watch in horror
As your cousin Kelly (and numerous others) instantly comment on the status feed.

3.  Be prepared
For “what-the-fuck’s, who-is-the-lucky-man’s, when-did-you-get-a-boyfriend’s and how-much-did-you-pay-him-to-pop-the-question’s.

4.  Reply with disgust:
Marriage is for quitters and that the word ‘blister’ refers to your sister and HER fiance.

5.  Realize that you’re too late as your mother screams down the phone not a second after you’ve answered her call:
“No mom, jesus – I am not pregnant!” you reply in a calm manner.

How to not date:

How to not date:

1.    Please, for the love of all that is good and holy, do not write ‘I like it dirty’ on the back of The Date’s car (equally as filthy as yours) at a carwash.  It will only cause your cheeks to flush when he teases you nonstop for the duration of the date.

2.    If you gracefully trip over a loose brick in the park’s paved pathway, after a delightful picnic, telling the brick to go and “fuck itself” is probably not the best demonstration of femininity. This becomes clear once you look over to The Date and his eyes are pretending to not be large and a little amazed at your prowess and command of the language which would shame most sailors, and their mothers.

Back by popular demand

I left you all with a cliff hanger post last week. Thank you for the feedback, wow. I had no idea my love life history was so interesting to you guys… Here’s the end of the original story:

*****************************

Jaun had proposed to me. He didn’t have a ring, but he was as serious as cancer. Me? I freaked out properly. Marriage wasn’t on my cards, it never had been. Up until this point I had never even wanted to get married. No one had ever made me feel like I wanted to spend the rest of my life with them, until now.