Good bye and so long…

On my birthday wish list were a few things that I know were completely out of line and not actually expected by me or anyone else, namely a GPS Navigator, Home Internet or a hairy man. But then I forgot who I was dealing with in you Readers, you who have sent me my favourite books before, you who made me fall in love for the first time since a young girl, you who held me together when he died, you who I’ve met in person and laughed and drank and stayed over and joked and smoked with, all of you who read me and support me and challenge me to write better, be better, be happier, laugh louder.

In particular, you, who I’ve neither met in person nor spoken to on the phone before yesterday, you who took my tongue in cheek birthday wish list and made it a reality – you sent me a frikken GPS Navigator! You who has also sent me a gift for home internet! You who sent me an unknown parcel full of only god knows what yet to be collected from post office! All of you who sit there and let me drone on and on about myself day in and day out.  Don’t you ever get bored? I hope not.  Because lets face it, as much as I claim to love writing for myself, it wouldn’t be half as much fun without you here.

So too all of each and every one of you, thank you for being here. Thank you for letting me be me and not asking me to change. Thank you for being you and being okay with everything, for being supportive, funny, argumentative and entertaining.  Thank you for a fantastic few years!

The time has come where I will now close my blog off and say good bye, I’m tired of sharing my soul*.

Be safe, be well, and be happy,

SheBee 

* wahahahaha!  Whatever, you know I could never stop talking about myself. SUCKERS! 

But now that you have recovered from the immediate fear, regret, sadness and horror of me joking about ending this blog, you can’t be mad at me for saying I quit quit smoking, it’s a kak jol, yo.  I like cigarettes! They keep me happy and sane and I can afford them if I.. you know, stop eating.  Wah!  So, no – I’m still blogging, but I’m also still smoking.  Don’t shout, please.

Now get back to work you lazy git!

Blogs that went poof!

In order of most noticablility:

1. I are wearing ve Jean Pant.  I loved this chick.  She was one of my first real blog addictions.  Suddenly up and running, then gone and empty.  So sad.
2. The Crayola Dude – aka Ekke.  Also stopped suddenly, then contacted via facebook to ask wtf was happening, only to get a random email saying something about someone getting upset and so he was going private.
3. Wiggly.  Although he’s still around lurking, I do miss his blog something terrible.
4. Hard Spear – a darling, darling man who introduced me to my current blogging circle.
5. Coming Clean – although slightly biased, this blog fascinated every fibre inside of me.

Bring back the Golden Oldies!

hi ho, hi ho, hi HO

oh my fuck!

working again sucks! i am used to being a lady of leisure, not freaky slave who can’t have smoke breaks. helping a doctor friend of mine out for a few weeks since i have nothing to do but wait for home affairs and her secretary walked out.

this is not fun.

how you doing? comments are dying, and i am crying! lemme know when you come here god damnit!

i miss you.

big tearful eyes.

ps: no time for punctuation.

mwah mwah

Yes, I do still breathe.

Sorry for my disappearing act guys.  I’m just letting you know that I have yet to peg, things have just gone a tad pear shaped of late.  I’m on holiday with my girlfriends now, and Tiff and I will be heading to Champagne Castle in the berg tomorrow morning, where Kim will be joining us on Sunday til Wednesday.  I am a lucky, lucky girl and I love my fabulous friends.  I haven’t seen my two other triangles, Flea (who should be fat by now with human incubation and all) and Britt, who is apparently moving house this weekend.  I’ll be round to them soon to get my lectures, I’m sure.

So by now, you would have guessed that I am no longer in Cape Town.  As gorgeous as the mowwwwntin is, and as lovely as Richard was, I needed to leave.  Its a long story – don’t ask, I’ll just confuse you more than I am already.

This is just a quick update, so I will keep it short.  I’ll have some time this weekend (maybe, between facials, massages, horse rides or swimming) to do a longer post and catch up with everyone of you.

Until then, wish Tiff luck tomorrow morning, because I’m driving, baby!

He missed me too much

He leant against my door frame with one hand in his pocket, a smirk on his face, hair slightly in his eyes, head cocked down and tilted to the side looking up at me.

My knees buckled.  "You’re dead! How did you get here?"

Nonchalantly, as if this happened on a daily basis, "SheBear I came back to you, it was horrible there and very boring"

"Drew, its impossible.  You died.  I have to be dreaming.  Why are you here?"

"You’re not dreaming SheBear, I’ve come to make you a Mommy again.  Kiera is with me"

He moves out the way, and right behind him stands a little girl with red hair and blue eyes clutching onto the teddy bear that I had given her four years previously, a teddy bear that at that moment was safely locked away in a cupboard nowhere near here.  "Heyo Mommy – I mithed you"

I jump off the bed and back away, Andrew, my dead boyfriend, is standing in front of me holding my dead daughters hand, and smiling. 

Suddenly, way before I even wanted them to, they fade away and I open my eyes to the sound of thumping floor boards above me.

I’m not sure if it was a dream or a nightmare.  I’m still cold inside.  All I do know, is that it left me with goosebumps on my arms and a smile on my lips.

—————————————————————–

PS: Today will be my last blog post for a while. At least a week. Don’t you fuckers forget me, you hear? I will be taking a little break (unwillingly – see bitch about laptop issues earlier this week) so don’t be shy about your visitations while I’m gone. It’s weird to think the next time I will be writing will be in Cape Town.

Famdamily

So, its three more sleeps until my family leaves. I have really had such a good time having them stay with me. I thought it was going to be crowded, but I’ve loved every minute of it and to be honest, am dreading being alone again. I’m going to have to relearn how to live by myself.

On Saturday, Australia will become an even better place as my family arrives closer to my two best friends in the computer, Amy & Rob. They’ll be in Perth, guys, so promise me that if either of you two go near there, you’ll go say hi, okay?

I’ve learnt things about me, while having my dad around daily for the first time since I was a little itty bitty ankle biter. Its brought us so much closer, and I’m really glad.

Highlights of having my family with me the last two months:

1. Tuesdays will never be the same. They are now known as Fucky-wucky nights, and Ash and I find every excuse to get out of the house that night. Two guesses why.
2. Dad and Darryn stealing a pubs two rugby mascots in their inhebriated state. Dad felt guilty the next day so gave them a make over, spruced them up and delivered it in a box back to the pub with an anonomous apology riddle. The next time we went back there, the mascots were placed so high up, a giant would struggle to reach it.
3. My father finally got the chance to meet all my good friends. One of them, F, collapsed laughing when Dad stood on the table to be the same height as he greeted him.
4. Trace and I have become even closer than we were before and I truly do think of her as my udder-mudder.
5. I am going to need a holiday once they are gone, just to get myself back into the motion of going to bed early and staying at home during the week.
6. Late at night, when I should have been sleeping like a normal person, Ash and I stay up giggling like bloody idiots, adding to the list of our clutchplate dictionary. Here, have some examples:

• Hoeknaal: toenails.
• Vat are very cool – no explanation necessary, I’m sure.
• you is a anoos
• How lamm is that (lame)?
• more to be added later, I have to finish this post immediately and check emails.