Carry on, choke me

In bitter sweet news, my favourite cartoonist is shutting down one of his two comics, to introduce a new comic strip involving baby ellies, leopards and lions. Of course, I am speaking of Jeremy Nell, the delightful Capetonian of this era. If you are a follower of Urban Trash, or even not, I’d head over to his site or rush out and buy the latest Times edition to see what you’ll be missing. Bring on the 30th June the release date of the new strip, I can’t wait to see what he’s dished out for us.

For the last twelve hours I have been on the loo with my head in the basin. I have food poisoning. I know I should be happy because its one way of totally losing weight, but dude. I can’t keep anything down or in! Cath in her infinite wisdom decided we were going shopping this afternoon. Aside from her doing carry-on-choke-me* in the middle of the isles, me tripping on the escalator, us sitting on the stairs crying with laughter, and screaming for the waitron in mugg n bean and then asking everyone around us if he had, in fact, been concieved yet as he was taking so long to bring us our drinks, I actually felt better. For an hour. Also, she doesn’t care if we’re in Musgrave Centre and I’m in my Pj’s.

We got home and I had to run back to Marvin, our toilet. I think he missed me. I was all like, oh sweet lawd – this wall is so cold, I’m in heaven

So. One piece of toast and half a glass of coke is what I’ve had today. The horlicks milkshake I ordered went untouched, practically and so I can only surmise that I am ready for the next fad, which will be eating lettuce leaves alone, then going to chunder it all out again, in manner of super models. I’ll stay away from carrots though. Apparently (snort) they make your vagina go orange. You don’t even want to know how I heard about this.

But, please can it be said, that I have the best flat mate in the world. I have been loved, fed rehydrat and looked after. I love her. Even without a penoos. And NO, damnit – I’m still not gay.

* Karaoke

8 comments

  1. Amy says:

    I really feel for you Sheena…. last year i had the same kind of thing going on, had to take a week off work, but i had no lovely flatmate so i had to look after myself. I recommend trying a sports drink ( like Gatorade ) instead of your Coke though because its specifically designed to rehydrate…. good luck!

  2. cathjenkin says:

    hehehe. cor, smooch sheena.

    i so dont care if we’re anywhere in our pjs. HELLS lady, youre talking to the girl who comes to work in them!

    X

  3. Mark says:

    Just discovered YOUR blog. Yes, I AM retarded. It takes me a while with these technological things (you kids these days!).

    I must say you deserve any gastric misfortune that befell you for visiting the Mugg&Bean. Quite apart from the fact that the coffee is clearly distilled urine, I once had a piece of cake that had what looked like a pubic hair (it was much too soft and delicate to be a head hair) BAKED into it. Not lingering on the top, you understand, but snugly ensconced in the middle.

    After I finished retching and dry heaving (roughly 3 weeks later), I made a vow never to darken the door of a Mugg & Bean as long as I live. That was in 2001, and I have not yet broken my vow. Yes, it has ended friendships, created social awkwardness, but at least I have remained true to my principles.

  4. shebee says:

    Aims – did you know that coke has more electrolites (which is what you were talking about i think) than any sports drink? well, it does here in africa anyway. our energades are packed full of colourants and msg…

    cath – this is true. what time did Moose leave last night dude? the last i heard you guys were playing with balloons at midnight?! weirdos.

    Mark – oh hello. In my home, retardation is supplemented with the word Dork. Its a long story. Welcome though – its about time you followed the yellow brick road.

    Nice man, pubes just give you extra vitamins, what you on about?

  5. cathjenkin says:

    @shebee – prob just before 1. i think. balloons at midnight. i tell you. keep reading your sms and laughing at the ‘retardation before us’.

    and its true. coke has more electrolytes and easily accessible sugar than most energy drinks here.

  6. Stef says:

    i love your new header!!!!!!!!!!! it’s so you, never ever change it!
    hope you feel better soon, what you have i never want again… most horrible thing ever!

    orange vajayjay????? LOL

  7. shebee says:

    Stef – thank you skattebol. It took me ages to design it and Cath kindly uploaded it for me since I’m such a techniphobe.

    I feel much better today, except for sneezing all over my laptop every five minutes.

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