Being a Capetonian

…allows for some serious perks and advantages:

  • You get to drive like a maniac and no one cares
  • If you own a spar, your tomatoes are allowed to be orange
  • You can answer any provincial debate with "dude, we like, have a mowwwwntin"
  • The streets are all wide and double laned, yet you have to wait ages to cross an intersection because there are an inevitable lack of robots
  • The waterfront has no free parking, you just have to pay, pay, pay!
  • Your excuse for anything is that the weather is good.  Your other excuse is that the weather is bad.
  • Being white or coloured or even purple with pink polka dots automatically gives you the right to speak like you have no front teeth and finish every sentence off with ‘naai man!’

The terminology here is completely different to what we have in Durban, and apparently my accent is ‘very KZN’.  I come from the South Coast, which is also known as the Slow Coast, but damn, everything is so chilled here that even the dogs look at you and say "like, woof, bru".