We were perfect parents before we were parents.

I love that saying, it’s very appropriate for Jon and I. We really were the perfect parents before we became actual parents. We had all sorts of theories, morals, opinions and intentions on right vs. wrong in the parenting realm. For instance, I was going to exclusively breastfeed my child until I had to go back to work (I lasted 8 weeks before calling it a day), Aiden would be raised Jewish (we just celebrated Christmas at home with zero regrets – I mean who could resist this child of mine wearing this outfit?). We also agreed we’d eliminate night time feeds, let him cry-it-out to force him to sleep through, never use a dummy and only ever give him sugar once he could talk. Hah! Oh, what wonderful parents we were back then. And then our kid arrived and we adopted what Jon fondly calls the “Do Whatever the Fuck Works Parenting Method”.

I’ve started documenting our moments of being “perfect parents” because if we can’t make fun of ourselves (or our child) what’s the point of this whole sleep-deprived gig anyway?


“The baby’s things will not be strewn all over the house. He will have a neat box for his belongings, which will be kept in his room.” Related: this is not his room.


“We’ve spent tens of thousands on our new adult bathroom. It will only be for us, not the baby”.


“We won’t dress our baby up in geek outfits. That is so lame”.


“The baby will fall asleep in his bed, and his in bed only!”


“The baby will only wear the best, most stylish clothing and clothes that don’t fit will be put away immediately.”


“He will eat home made veggies and he will LOVE them”


“We will never mock the child. It could give him issues”


“We’ll never be those parents that upload gross photos to social media”

What are your perfect parenting moments?       





    • Shebee says:

      Yip, definitely. And my favourites are the ones who had kids fifty years ago and start out with “But in *my* day…” for feeding / nappies, etc.

      • Angel says:

        I think I was too young to have my own ideas to begin with, when my knucklehead came along.
        I do remember negotiating with my teen in a shop once – that I would buy him black nail polish if he would stop wearing an upside down crucifix… And there was the time I said he could smoke at home as long as he didn’t do it in front of his grandparents or at school…
        Angel recently posted…I’m Gonna Have Another Birthday!My Profile

  1. MamaZombieZa says:

    Ah I love this. I was only going to use cloth nappies for Shae and I was going to feed both kids home made organic food. I was going to breastfeed forever and and and.

    yeah. That happened…

    • Shebee says:

      Well in my defense, I have cooked every single hot meal Aiden has eaten so far. So there’s one Perfect Parent trait, at least.

  2. poseamonkey says:

    Haha, I kid. My biggest fails have been regarding sleep. I did not do a good job early on with good sleep habits. But now it does not seem a big deal as we have found things that get us by – that seems to be my parenting philosophy now. If it works for us and does not harm the baby then we go for it. I tried cloth nappies but I hate dealing with poop. So I use them sporadically. I tried baby wearing but Luca is too heavy to wear for long periods so I wear sporadically. I thought I would do BLW but it is kind of contrived and a pain in the butt so we just fed however seemed to work at the time. I ‘breastfeed” but it was HELLISH almost the whole time and he has had plenty of formula too. I am the perfect mediocre mom.

  3. Jeanette says:

    Oh yes, can relate!
    Our big one was that we weren’t going to ever have the kids sleep in our beds. They needed to sleep in their own room in their own beds. Hah!
    Both kids spent the first two years of their life starting off sleeping in their beds, and ending every night in our bed. And I loved the cuddles 🙂

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