Unhappy Death Day, Kiera.

Four years ago on this day

it was the last time I ever did pray

the doctors put me to bed with a pill
I was so useless, you were so ill

I’d been waiting and waiting,
scared out of my mind, hoping a solution would be found
I had no idea what was expected
I had no idea that soon you’d soon be dead.

They kicked me out
they closed the door
I cried and cried
I sat on the floor

you were so tiny, so quiet, so very blue  
the machines did everything, they lived for you,
the nurses cried, and on the wall the doctor did lean
beep beep beep, from the stupid machine

your body wracked with wires and pipes
I couldn’t remember even one of your gripes
you were so perfect, so utterly fine
I always knew you wouldn’t forever be mine

she’s no longer here
there’s no more hope
we did everything we could
Sheena, I would go home, I would, I would, I would.

The body is cold
I put on your clothes
now you’re in the cot
without you, how can I go home

this is not happening
never again will I sing
never again will I grin
getting over this will never begin

the greatest healer time is, you know
four years on, i’m still sad but its not as bad
as it was on this day, four years ago

this year i’ll do nothing about it
four years down the line
I remember every little bit

It’s midnight now, I write this down
not even a smile, not even a frown
I can’t sleep because four years ago,
out of a packet, your ashes were thrown