Today, I’m sad.

Today, I’m sad.  Because of the loss.  Because of the anger.  Because of memories so casually tossed away.  I know that I have moved on, but should that necessarily mean I need to forget?  I really hope I don’t.

Today, I’m sad that I can’t just pick up the phone and sms a lame joke to  you.  I’m sad that when we visit the waterfall, for the first time ever, you won’t be there to dive bomb me and call me a pansy for being afraid of the fish.  Today, I’m sad that your mom is in such a bad and scary, lonely place without you.

Today, I’m sad that your best friend is an empty shell not having your guidance and Einstein’s way of sarcasm to get him right.

Today, I still can’t look at that playstation game without hearing your dad shouting at you for showing me such gory blood scenes all those years ago.

Today, I can see your face in my mind and I know.  I know that I miss you my far-away friend who will never be forgotten.

Today, I’m sad.  I wish you were here to moan at me for wearing my South Coast Hoodie and not the guess ones that always smelled of your cologne.

Today, I’m remembering you.  My Carrot.  My bone-head brother.