This post will not please my male readers.

Please can I say something? Men suck. They do. Don’t sit there reading this and tell me that you’re different, okay? Shut up and stop lying, you lying little sack of poo. You are all crap! What with your stupid little penises, and your car fetishes, and your ability to change stupid light globes and what not. Who needs you anyway? I feel that we chickies were all laced with far too much generosity in spilling our emotion on you dudes. I mean, lets be honest here – we don’t get it back. If it weren’t for procreation, I would vote for eliminating the lot of most of you. Bleh!

To my friend who was slapped with a small case of men fuckwittage, I love you. You are awesome, and you deserve so much more than that person who didn’t know what he had and hopefully realizes now that he’s lost it. Hell, if I was lesbian, I’d totally jump you. Here’s to the PPP!

Cath and I did a Pina party on Saturday night, just the two of us, all on our own, sitting on the lounge floor. It was awesome! Completely spontaneous, too, it’s always the best time to have fun. Small pity I then went and drunk twitteraged myself to oblivion. The guys haven’t let me forget it!

Anyway, that’s not my point. What is my point, is that my special friend and I went out this weekend and blew a whole lot of money on clothes, shoes, hoodies, scarves, a hand bag, hats, beanies, make up & jewellery. Realistically speaking, I think we independently funded The Pavilion in all its glory to remain open on a Sunday. Retail therapy baby, get out of our way, men! We’re not above kicking you in the nuts!

I might not be able to eat for the duration of… oh, I don’t know, this lifetime, but by God I will look fucking good at it! This is me, eating beans on toast, but look how sexy my shoes are.

Happy Monday. NOT!

Countdown til my birthday: 5 more sleeps!

34 comments

  1. SwissTwist says:

    Here here to eliminating most of MAN-kind!You can add Mr Twist to that list too!

    Sounds like you and Cath had a lurvely time!! I’m so jealous! Makes me with I had a girlfriend to hang out with sometimes 🙂

    PS Can we see the sesy shoes?

  2. Amy says:

    Yep, men do suck a lot of the time. But i know some nice ones, so can we make a shortlist of the ones we want to keep before you mass murder them ?

    And yep, lets see the shoes. Mmmm, shoes….

  3. Stew says:

    Men are pigs. I are toast. At least my avatar resembles something that looks kinda like toast.

    Now, at the risk of being serious AND pissing off the masses. Girls are generally guilty as hell of going after the type of guy that is not right for them. I’m wondering if this particular guy was “that type”.

  4. shebee says:

    Swiss – lol @ you adding Mr. Twist. But who will cook for you babe? We can’t have you getting fat on swiss chocolate up there in the Alps!

    Aims – hehe okay, short list done 🙂 Send your entires and clauses why they should stay.

    MY SHOES ARE DIVINE. Don’t know how to upload pics from phone yet though. Watch this space.

    D – I knew you’d be the first to point out your male awesomness. Sigh…

    Stew – shuddup, women are PERFECT! :p

    Cath – our weekend was awesome man 🙂 The entire internet got to hear just how many Pina’s we had on Saturday, too. Sorry 🙁

  5. Made In SA says:

    if i put on womens clothing and hang around in bars…. do you think i might avoid the scorn of the female population? coz i really want to be a lumberjack! 🙂
    jees nice opening blog for the week! guess i will go drown myself……. after my coffee!
    Hugs
    Hermaphrodities.

  6. shebee says:

    MISA – wahahaha! oh come now, there’s no need to become a Herm on my account. Transvestite, however, would be a lot of fun to see!

    How kak is the weather today? Yussie. Makes me wanna stay in bed and drink milo all the while watching tongue in cheek slap stick comedies!

  7. Made In SA says:

    Oh a fellow comedy perveyor? did the whole weekend of monty python, hots shots and airplane dvd’s …..im feeling funny now! as for the toungue in cheek comedies…..there a good one showing in parliment! and a sad remake is presently unvieling its self at the olympics….. 🙁

  8. shebee says:

    Oh I am a HUGE comedy perveyor! Much to my flatmates horror, I subject her to watching all sorts of weirdo comedies.

  9. B says:

    omgosh!

    How unreal! Have you watched What happens in Vegas? I watched that movie on saterday and there is a scene in there that may interest you.. Its called the revenge plot.. Check it out here Revenge Plot) scroll down to the bottom for the youtube clip..

    All men can be assholes.. but I have met lots that work hard at not being one..

  10. cathjenkin says:

    @B you just summed up the MAC philosophy.

    Which. if you’re sheena or cath, is sipholosophy.

    =)

  11. Made In SA says:

    Shew thanks B, i thought i was the only decent guy! lol… should we start a “nice guys club”? Oh my hat that sounds a little too feminin for me…… at least my princess and my puppy think im great! surely that counts a little in my favour?
    as for the “all men” chirp, i know a train load of biatches that could make lemons go sour, they drink a glass of pool acid first thing in the morning! so think we call it quits on the name slinging? have a cool new version of the “I will survive” tune that most independant women of today can sing along to….
    SING IT GIRLS!!!

    At first I was afraid, I was petrified.

    When you said you had 10 inches, Lord I almost died!

    But I’d spent so many years just waiting for a man that long, That

    I grew strong, And I knew that I could take you on…

    But there you are, another lie,

    I was ready for a Big Mac and you’ve brought me a French Fry!

    I should have known that it was bulls***t, just a sad pathetic dream

    Should have known there was no Anaconda lurking in those

    jeans!

    Go on now – go,! Walk out the door,

    Don’t you promise me 10 inches, then turn up with only 4!

    Weren’t you a brat to think I wouldn’t find you out!?

    Don’t you know we’re only joking when we say size don’t count??!!

    [Chorus]

    I will survive! I will survive!

    Cuz as long as I have batteries,

    My sex life’s gonna thrive!

    I will always have good sex,

    with a handful of latex!

    I will survive! I will survive! Hey! Hey!

    It took all my self control not to laugh out loud,

    When I saw your little weiner standing tall and proud!

    But to hell with your ego and to hell with all your needs,

    Now I’m saving all my lovin’ for a cordless multispeed!

    [Chorus]

    I will survive! I will survive!

    Cuz as long as I have batteries,

    My sex life’s gonna thrive!

    I will always have good sex,

    With a handful of latex!

    I will survive! I will survive! Hey! Hey!

    :mrgreen:

  12. Eish says:

    Cas im a good guy (hate being referred to as “nice” or “sweet”) I’m going to correct you; “Men suck. They do…all except Dylan that is” 😛

  13. shebee says:

    Suetjie – she is even better, trust me on that score.

    Gluggie – Yes. Cos you are of the Lickalottapuss variation of species.

    Ewe. Can’t believe I just typed that out.

  14. cathjenkin says:

    and I quote from a dvd shebee and I watched this weekend which made us laaaugh:

    “I know you’re gay, but i like the hard-to-get types”

  15. nash says:

    Guys don’t suck. We are, in essence, VERY simple creatures. By being so simple in everything, from our emotions to our needs, we hurt you EXTREMELY complicated girls.

  16. Maxxy says:

    Nash is right – we’re very simple creatures. Why do you think we like to go after dumb blondes huh ?? Makes us feel intelligent, thats why…..and the cars thang….hell, you know……if you have a tiny penis AND no brains, you have to feel you’re making up for it somehow…..right ??? 😉

  17. cath says:

    Funny thing. i just read this post again tonight. Tonight on the night of my texting you my self doubt and you raging at me to keep believing.

    And, Sheena, I believe. And, Sheena, I cannot actually fucking wait for you to meet him. Shit, fuckbitch, hooooly god. It’s happened.

    wah.

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