This is sure to be a TMI for all you males. Tough Shit. Deal with it.

There are things about being a girl that you guys just don’t get. Having your period doesn’t just mean you bleed for a week without dying. There are many other aspects too that I bet you haven’t even thought of:

• Your boobs ache. This you should know already. But do you realize the extent to which they ache? They are tingly and super sensitive at least a week before your due date to be full of shit. All your nipples really want is to be carefree and hanging loose, mother goose, but they aren’t. Instead they’re strapped up and squashed to fuck in material cups that remind you every third minute why being a hippie isn’t so bad.

• Wearing white during this week is a near impossibility. Constantly aware of a possible leakage, or filled with thoughts of clothes being ruined or *horrors* not to mention the fact that you are so bloated, you may not even fit into those pants for a while! But more importantly, checking out ones own ass every time you get up from anywhere appears quite on the ridiculous side of things.

• Buying the bloody equipment to be equipped for this whole thing is an ordeal all on its own. Do you guys even realize the thoughts that need to be processed for this? Aside from it being completely humiliating having to display to the world what is in my shopping cart, and knowing that everyone now knows, there are other thoughts too.  Should I use this one, or the one in a tube? What if I forget to take the plastic off? Oh my fucking fuck! WHAT IF I FORGET IT’S IN ME?

•And it’s not that easy disposing of this shit either.  Inevitably it’s at someone else’s house, and you don’t want to set off the septic tank, but more often than not there isn’t a little lady bin in the bathroom either.  So it’s a matter of toilet paper wrapping and ninja diving into the kitchen with a few somersaults under the dining room table on your way out.

Ack!

I’m hormonal. I’m bloated. I’m bleeding.

Step away from the Period!

6 comments

  1. David Anthony Alves says:

    This is all old news to me…maybe I was just “taught” from a young age (high school = no sex filled relationships) that Red Lorry-Yellow Lorry days were made for you to have your feet up high and given a constant flow of coffee and tea, ice cream on demand as well as back rubs and foot rubs. Or am I speaking solely for myself here?

  2. Leaine says:

    Ha ha chick, you are sooooooooooooo funny! I wanted to check out your blog cos we’re both gonna be in CLEO and wow, am I so happy I did. I just love your sense of humour and your topics are off the wall, but seriously we all go through the same things, but no one has the guts to talk about them until you 🙂 Congrats – you’re doing excellent things – keep up the funny 😀

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