Things I think of while doing yoga

  • Jeepers, my boobs are going to suffocate my face if we don’t get out of this position soon.
  • I really should’ve done something about the hair on my toes.
  • Look at Jess, just look at her.  She’s like a graceful swan put on this earth just to do yoga and make me feel this inferior.
  • Oh, this move is basically tummy crunches, this is not what yoga is all about!  Where are the calm stretches at?  Jesus!
  • Why must the instructor walk up to us just as he gets us moved into a pre-labour position? My fanny is in the air here, dude!
  • If I was pregnant, my fetus would plop out for sure.
  • Ohdeargodpleasecanwedosomestretches.
  • *breathes through nose, tries not to pass out*
  • I really don’t remember sweating this much last time I went to yoga.
  • Don’t look at Jess, you’ll just get the giggles again.
  • I’m dying for a smoke, wow.
  • Oh thank GOD.  BREATHING EXERCISES.  FINALLY.
  • I literally have my body in a pretzel shape right now.  Look at my cankle, it’s practically sitting under my chin.  I’m SO proud.
  • Ooh, yay!  We get to lie on our backs.
  • OH COME ON!  WHEN DO WE GET TO DO BREATHING EXERCISES AGAIN!? THIS IS BULLSHIT!
  • Snort, snigger, giggle, chortle, look at Jess, her bottom half of her body is shaking like a leaf.  I’m not alone!
  • Sigh, lying on my back without permission even.  Gotta relax, heart may explode.  Not with happiness.
  • Great – the meditation part.  We got here, I never thought we would.
  • Pass me that eye bag, Imma meditate the crap out of this yoga class.
  • *clears mind*
  • [Two seconds later] …and coffee, I need to buy coffee on the way home.  I wonder what Jon wants for dinner.  I could really have a smoke right now.  Pretty sure this instructor is a bit of a creeper, he keeps staring at the girls crotches.
  • Shit.  Failed at meditation too.

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10 comments

  1. Heidi says:

    I am exactly like that in the meditation bit. “Clear your mind, breathe away your troubles”… *shit, I think I forgot to switch the outside light off, do we have enough ingredients for chicken tikka? I wonder if y ass looks bigger in the air than while standing? etc, etc, etc, etc…”

  2. Ankia says:

    Lol!! Once in Yoga a girl in front of me farted loudly and pretended nothing happened. I just couldn’t…. I lolled!

  3. Angel says:

    LOL! That was hysterical!
    You know, my granny darling did yoga all her life and her doctors swear its one of the main reasons she’s still as limber as she is!

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