Things I have dreamed of in the last 24hrs

  1. My intermate has dropped off the face of the earth. I dreamt he changed his surname, moved countries and had a face lift. Are my issues that scary?!
  2. Incest. With my brother. Please pass me a bucket so I can chunder.
  3. MY head. It changed into a vampire head, but was fifty times the size it is now. Odd. I put it down to facebook vampire attacks I’ve been receiving.
  4. Kiera. But you already know all about that.
  5. My puppy stood up on two legs and opened my fridge and made me breakfast. This was at nine this morning, I think I may have been hungry in my sleep. She kept whining because she couldn’t reach the stove. Poor little sweetheart, so sweet, trying to feed me like that.
  6. I lost my boss almost 5000$ by making a typo on my invoice. He fired me and then took all my belongings to recover his loss. I slept in a cardboard box shivering and my leg hairs were really long and I could feel them blowing in the wind.
  7. I gave birth to kittens.
  8. I stepped in dog poo. Im still not one hundred percent sure if this was a dream or not, as I have been sleep walking lately.

I need a Xanax. Any offers?