They all warned me…

But I wouldn’t listen.  I insisted it was a good idea.  A way to break the LSD trip colour scheme going on in my bathroom, the solution to calming people down after they’d been attacked by the bright hues when in the little wash-up room.  “It’ll be calm, peaceful and serene in the bedroom, party in the bathroom” I said with utter confidence.

“But I’ll have to go barefoot and wash my feet before stepping into your bedroom” said Jon.

White.  Pure white.  The sheets, the pillows, the duvet, the curtains, the rug.  All of it white, in my bedroom of cleanliness and serenity.  I love every inch of it.  It’s a mixture of being in a mental ward and a house of Zen.

I ignored everyone’s protestations and plummeted through with my plans of Zen, full of glee and determination.  Except, I didn’t bargain on Seasea Cat giving live birth to her two babies.  On my bed.  Under the covers.

Kill me now.

* I haven’t yet seen the devastation.  Joycie our domestic goddess called me twenty minutes ago to share the happy, joyous news.  As excited as I am to get home and meet my new fur babies, I’m terrified of seeing the damage.

Edited to add: Please give me advice in the comment section regarding kitty care/vet visits/ what not to kill them with etc…


  1. Shebee says:

    Thanks everyone. Will try vanish, pick some up on my way home this evening. Now, more importantly – is there anything I need to know/do/remember regarding kitten care?

    I’m a first time cat owner really, so I’m a bit clueless! When do I take them to the vet etc?

  2. dawn says:

    I have a kid..
    And there is a puppy in the house.

    There is no WAY i am having serene white anything until they no longer need to live here.

  3. stalker says:

    week one – feed sea sea extra food pref kitten food with extra calcium she needs it … enjoy the darlings and all their cuteness
    week two keep feeding sea sea extra and now start oohing and aaahhing at the little squeaks they making
    week three – sea sea might be getting tired of them check they not loosing weight even though the cute squeaking noises are now being absorbed by the now closed bathroom door
    week 4 – they might be climbing out the bath and the mewing will be maddning
    week five – say good bye to your linen curtains and pillows they will be shredded
    week 6 frantically advertise them free to good homes! again pray you get a reply! try to get them both in a box if that fails get two boxes … take them to the vet for jabs … bitch about price of kitty jabs then feel bad they got boo boo’s
    if they fined homes replace linen if not spay sea sea and hold off the new linen for 6 months


  4. Cynicman says:

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! My cat started giving birth on my feet when I was falling asleep…

    But seriously… I am very experienced in animal care… including kitties…

    1. Get a box for an old TV or PC Monitor.

    2. Put a blanket or pillow in the box.

    3. Seal the box up.

    4. Cut a hole quite high up the side.

    5. Put kitties inside.

    6. Put mommy inside.

    Leave them there for the next three weeks… do not interfere with them… mommy might decide to move them away. At least in this box they are safe. Mommy will want a dark cool place to keep them. Put the box high up if you have dogs.

    In three weeks time, give me a shout and I’ll tell you what to do next… but for now… that’s all you need to do…

    ps. There is a 95% chance there will be another kitty nearby…
    most of the time, mommy drops a kitty with out warning, then heads off to find somewhere safe. Look for the missing kitty.

  5. Shebee says:

    Sure as shit, Karl, a third kitten was found by my domestic half an hour ago.

    “Cheeena! Seasea she had anudder one baby cat! I tooked it to the borx with her other ones baby cats!”

    Thanks, I’ll contact you in 3 weeks!

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