The year of the not penis, but pinas.

This year has been a year of learning for me. So much has happened, so much has changed and not very much has stayed the same, including me.

  • I’ve learnt to be comfortable in my own skin.
  • I’ve learnt how to say “Enough”. And walk out on situations that weren’t working for me.
  • I’ve learnt to say no. Despite the fact that it caused greater stress than staying meek and mild, I said no to something I didn’t want, knowing it would hurt somebody else.
  • I’ve learnt to also do things that terrified me, because I’ve learnt that if I don’t sometimes take that risk, I miss out on far too much. Like spending my godchild’s birthday at the aquarium. The look on her face when she saw Nemo and Dory was so worth it.
  • I moved away from my family, from my home town, from the people I grew up with. I made new friends.
  • I found a job that allows me to do things I’ve never had to do in my life before.
  • I’ve experienced new situations that I never would have if I hadn’t plucked up the courage and abandoned every negative advice that was given to me by my loved ones, usually their advice is law and I follow unquestioningly.
  • I’ve assisted in jailing someone who did something wrong, illegal and immoral.
  • I’ve connected, gotten to know and very recently met in person friends I would have never met if I didn’t ignore the fear of crossing the country, or allowing people into my own personal bubble.
  • I’ve gotten myself lost in the heart of a city in the middle of the night, all alone.
  • I’ve cried. I’ve been suicidal. I’ve been scared, anxious, lonely and received very bad news a few times. But I’m still standing. And I’m still fighting.
  • I’ve fought with my best friends – yet they’re all still here, calling, replying and doing coffee with me regardless of any mistakes either I, or they, have made.
  • Despite all my fears of commitment and admittance of girly feelings – I’m totally smitten. The rest is still a work in progress.
  • I have moved seven times.
  • I’ve had Pina Colada’s on the lounge floor with Cath at her home.
  • I’ve had Pina Colada’s on the deck of Quay 4 in Cape Town at the Waterfront.
  • I’ve had Pina Colada’s with Talfer at Ruby Tuesday and choked on water because we were laughing so much.
  • I’ve had Pina Colada’s on the deck of Durban Harbour Jaxx in an accidental date with a 60year old.
  • I’ve been made tea first thing in the morning and sipped on it silently with stars in my eyes and blog posts in my head.
  • I’ve been spoilt by people who only know me through my words.
  • I’ve written throughout it all.
  • I’ve waited for, and hoped against and solved and ignored a lot of burdens this year, sometimes its worked, sometimes it hasn’t.
  • I stopped my clothing addiction.  Well, there was that one time in The Pav when Cath was emo and I determined to cheer her up… but other than that?  Totally under control.
  • I’ve learnt to drink a lot more water than before, eat more green veggies, cut out on crap & realized how serious a tabacco addiction can be, generally when you’re attempting to quit it.
  • My true friends are still here, all 7 of them.
  • I’ve learnt to walk away when it hurts and get closer when it doesn’t.

This year was tough.  It was a year of hidden emotions, financial stress, lots of adjustment and very little trusting in other people.  This year it was up to me, and although I made mistakes, I learnt from them too.

11 comments

  1. Po says:

    Hi shebee, it sounds like a learning year for you, it was kind of like that for me too. But I have never had a pina colada in my life. I need to rectify that soon.

  2. Shebee says:

    Poetjie,

    It so has – and although I’ve had a few bad days, I would do it all over again if it meant I could keep the lessons and the memories.

  3. Po says:

    That is something! If you can say you would do it all over… I’m not so sure I would say the same, ag maybe. What’s done is done.

  4. cath says:

    tart. its been a YEAR hasnt it? i tell you, id not change a thing, except maybe for that whole “im dying, no wait, not yet, carry on” moments. LOL.

    love you fuckface

  5. Shebee says:

    I can’t believe its gone so fast, Jenks. Feels like just yesterday you made that fateful horse falling off phone call.

    LOL – hopefully 2009 doesn’t have anymore “im dying, no wait, not yet, carry on” moments. We had our fair share this year.

    Love you too skanky ho.

  6. Goblin says:

    I like the first one the most – that’s like totally awesome. But you’re absolutely out of your mind for moving seven times 😛

    Hope next year comes with all the lessons but without the ickyness – if that’s even possible. Good lessons! 😉

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