The weekend that was.

A few weeks ago Briget meme’d me to write a blog post listing things I’d said in the last week.  Since you all know how bad my memory is these days, I opt to list things I said out loud either at my mom’s house this past weekend, or on the road trip home with Jon yesterday.

  • No but really, how can scientists prove that there is no pregnancy without sex? I mean, what if I’m 12 years old and ride a horse that wobbles me enough to break my hymen? And then a week later I accidentally sit in an hour old puddle of sperm?  It’s totally possible for that virgin to fall pregnant.
  • Sperm can survive for four hours out in the open.  Swear to god.
  • Darryn, I DO NOT WANT TO SQUEEZE YOUR PIMPLE! LEAVE ME!
  • No babe, I don’t want to wake up now.  Close the door and get back into bed with me.
  • Mom those panties* could fit in a whole other half of you.
  • Do I also have a freckle on my fanny?
  • PULL OUT THE HAIR! PULL IT! JUST PULL! AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGGGGGGGGGGGGH!
  • I love you too my mother, you’re my favourite one.
  • I wish you lived closer.
  • No, I don’t have anything in my eye – I’m crying to the lyrics of this song about Jesus.  Jesus!
  • Thank you for my car.  And for all these clothes.  You spoil me, I love you.
  • Warrick! Go and shower**, you have a vegetable garden coming out of your ears! Look, there’s some broccoli!
  • Yes! My BlingBerry is BACK***!

*My mother.  In her former panties.  She’s looking SO good!

**Not quite convinced that being clean is all its cracked up to be, Warrick fell asleep in my mom’s bed, upside down.  Here is physical proof of just how “clean” he was:

*** We sat around blinging our phones on Saturday.  Except Jon, he put a very manly cover on his.  *cough*

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