The weekend made of awesome in a hotel.

Four PM this last Friday saw me dropping tools and diving into the work elevator dropping to the parking lot as I raced through to Jon’s office to drop off my car.  I’d packed my bags at 7am earlier that morning and deployed cat food and generally switched off my brain the minute the Close of Business time struck.

Jon and I were headed down to Mpumalanga for our much-anticipated weekend away together.  The one I won last year.  We had plans to do game drives, river rafting, quad biking and site-see a whole bunch of other stuff that is the vicinity of the gorgeous White River Lodge, out near Nelspruit.

The thing is, we didn’t realize how far out it was from Hoburg, so we only got there just before 10pm [thanks Jozi traffic, you suck a lot] and were exhausted by the time we checked into the hotel, so we went straight to the room and after I pranced around in the complimentary shower cap smelling all the soaps and eating the chocolates and sipping from the water bottles left in our fruit basket, he convinced me to come to bed.

The next morning after Jon huffed and puffed and made as much noise as he could whilst still not technically waking me on purpose [yeah right], I finally agreed to open my eyes and acknowledge the start of the day.  We went down for breakfast and I had a look around the place.

Jon had a bit of a cough [read: was driving me mucking fad with his coughing every three seconds] we headed off to town in search of a pharmacy and a bookstore to save my sanity.  And to help my poor, suffering and ill befallen lover-boy, obviously. That was always my number one priority.  Ahem.

I found two magnificent books in a tiny hidden little book store, spoke to the owner for a while, climbed up and down the ladder and tripped over the carpet on my way out to draw some cash [bless, the bookstore didn’t accept plastic – how quaint!].

Walked around the town in search of a bank [two whole blocks!] and then we discovered that Jon’s wallet had been misplaced.  Panic and calamity!  Where could it be?  Not in the car, not in the hotel room, not in my boobs [just checking], not at Reception, not in the jean pant – nowhere.  So we surmised that he’d left it at the garage on our way to White River.  Fuckballs.  So instead of being touristy and going on adventures, we headed back to our room to cancel his credit cards.  Not three seconds after he finished the last cancelation call, I remembered where I hid the wallet.  He loved me SO MUCH in that moment, I can tell you.

After that, we were very exhausted.  Doing nothing is hard work.  And so instead of adverturing the low veld, I delved into one of my books and Jon into his, and we spent the rest of Saturday alternating positions, pillows, pages, ordering in room service [omg, those toasted sandwhiches!] and snoozing.  It was glorious!

Dinner that evening consisted of drinks in the bar, followed by the most delicious cordon bleu I’ve ever tasted, in the dining room.  As far as 3 star hotels go, we were so impressed.  They wouldn’t let us pay for a thing, the service was outstanding and we were comfortable the entire weekend.  The only piece of criticism I can give is that their breakfasts need a bit of work.  The portions are very small and the food [although tasty and very edible] came with a feeling of neglect and a lack of love.  Oh, and the pool needs a bit of a cleaning, the leaves made it look too freaky for me to have a dip.

Other than that, the barman on Saturday night was awesome, the waiters were all friendly, the day receptionist was funny and cute, the hotel rooms impeccably kept and very cosy, and I didn’t want to come home. Also, those little shampoo things [which I am very proud to say I did NOT steal, like some other people I know] are the bombnizzle shizbang.  My hair still smells like awesomeness.

Thank you to my Jew who willingly stayed cooped up with me in the hotel room because he wanted to, and for getting us there and back alive, and for not screaming in frustration when I, a) lost his wallet b) helped him cancel all his cards and then c) found his wallet a second after putting down the phone.  I do love you, my boyfriend person.

And a very big, warm, squeeze of thanks to @GuyMcLaren and to White River Lodge for making this special weekend happen.  I’d recommend the hotel to anyone heading to the area.  You won’t find a more relaxing, peaceful venue.


  1. Sid says:

    For a second I was so jealous of you until I got the the part where you didn’t do any of the adventures you set out to do. Poo!

  2. Twistygirl says:

    Mpumalanga is perfect if you are looking for a beautiful place to escape the city and to just relax. Your boyfriend must love you very much if he didnt leave you in Mpumalanga after the credit card fiasco. If that was me I would have been so upset.

  3. Dawn says:

    And of course you can’t UN cancel the cards, you have to wait for the new ones. I know this from experience.

Comments are closed.