The thing about having a blog, see

…is that it puts a certain part of yourself out there to complete strangers, and makes you kind of vulnerable. We all know the shit thats gone down over here in the last month or so, and thats not what I’m actually referring to, its something else thats been on my mind, so sit back – I’m not sure how long this will take.

There are different bloggers out there. Mainly dude bloggers, and those dude bloggers are mostly some form of a nerd or other, with the exception of Nic Harry – who could never be a nerd, just because he’s Nic Harry, or Jeremy Nell – who is far too cool, calm and craploaded to be a nerd. Sadly, there are a minority of us female bloggers, although I am so chuffed to say that we are growing in numbers – finally! Basically though, the majority of the bloggers out there have a focus, a purpose for their blog, a reason to be doing it. I don’t. I do it because I’ve found that blogging my thoughts, experiences and feelings helps me to articulate and understand whats going on in and around me. I have no agenda, no niche and no subject content I stick to. I’ve enjoyed that. I tried the agenda thing when I did the 20Q for those few weeks, but truth be told – I got bored with having a deadline and knowing that I had to fill in the space. So I stopped. And I resumed my scrabbled posts and sometimes not so funny thoughts.

This has worked for me in the past, but lately it hasn’t been working for a lot of you. I understand that there has been a lot of negativity portrayed on my site. I understand that negativity attracts negativity.  But can you understand that there is a person on the other end of this screen?  I cringe everytime I open my gmail account, because guaranteed there will be at least two emails that make me put my hand to my mouth in disbelief and/or shock.  So what if I’m a “kaffir lover”?  “Kaffirs” are cool man – just look at Bridget and Obi. Those two rock my world on an almost daily basis.  My life being threatened is also not so fun anymore.  Especially when you throw in my address.  The scary part is that these things come from different people!

Yes, I know – I should “come to expect” that not everyone will adore me. Thats not the problem. Blogging has its perks, absolutely – but Jesus! Just because I chose to write about my life does not give you automatic rights to insult it at every turn. I’m not forcing my views and opinions down your throat, why do you force yours down mine?

I’ve never understood this. If I read something that offends me, or that I don’t agree with – unless the author is asking for feedback and debate, I won’t say anything. Its as simple as clicking the red ‘x’ on the right hand side of your screen (left for the MAC nerds) and never going back to the address again.

My blog represents a part of me, not all of me, a part of me. You only read about what I choose to write. This does not mean its all there is to me. I wish sometimes people would remember that.

Blogging, to me, equals opening yourself up for vulnerability, insult, judgement and death threats. I’m not always sure its actually worth it.

9 comments

  1. B says:

    OMG!!!

    I am sorry man… This is why I moderate.. I have had some freakies try and use my blog as a podium of their feelings towards me..

    Hence my disclaimer CLAUSE B and my moderation..

    I dont edit comments.. I have just had to delete hate mail that unproductive… Yes hate mail sometimes can be productive…

    Guaranteed those comments always come under anonymous.. because the reality is that they are cowards and assholes…

    Pay no attention to it .. They are jealous of you deep down and wish they had half the testicles that you sport..

  2. Amy says:

    Surely it has to be worth it for the friends you make ? I would hope that the support and love you receive far outweighs the crap my luvvie…

  3. Kerryn says:

    i am shocked that you actually get hate mail and have your life threatened. oMG, there are some frieks out there!

  4. shebee says:

    its one of those things, i suppose. the internet gives people a bravado they don’t usually possess in real life, so I don’t take them completely seriously, I know its just some asshole at the other end of the screen, really, trying to have a bit of nasty fun.

    Like a friend of mine Mel said recently, I’d rather they toss off to porn instead… but you don’t always get what you want.

    Yes, Amy – the people I have met (mostly, anyway) make it worthwhile…

  5. MsBehavn says:

    Fuck ’em, Sheena. I know that all the people aren’t going to like me all of the time but that’s ok. I probably don’t like them either!

    I know that you’ve had a rough time lately but you’re going to make it through this. We’ll make sure you do!!!

  6. shebee says:

    Aw 6k – you know I luvs ya.

    MsB – You are so right. I need to get to that place! Thank everything for you guys…

  7. angel says:

    holy crap… death threats!!?! seriously!!?! how do they know where you live?
    i am so sorry sheena… i love your blog and i treat things i don’t like the same way you do.
    its almost like there are people out there who sit and read all day just looking for someone to pick on!!!

Comments are closed.