The Evolution of The Shath.

It started with this:

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And then slowly moved along with this:

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Then I had issues with my old blog, I was still such a noob back then:

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(Please note, these days I’ve taught HER how to do stuff.  Okay, albeit on WordPress mostly, of which I’ve become a total blog whore geek)

Suddenly, the revelation dawned:

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One day, I had a dream:

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And Cath had a comment:

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And I cried.  A lot.  And phoned her.  And she cried too.  Somehow, we never got around to actually doing drinks… we chatted online daily though, emailed and called at night – spoke to each others children* and became solid friends. I think it was about a year later, we were chatting on the phone just after I got back from The Great Cape Town Disaster** and Cath suggested I come crash on her couch for a weekend.

Only thing is, I don’t think she realised how it would alter our fate completely:

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You see, I’d suddenly found myself giving up my home, losing my job, my boyfriend died, I went to Cape Town for a sabbatical of sorts and it only made things even worse for me emotionally and mentally and when I got back, I’d sit on the phone with Cath and she pretty much listened to me whine about how horrid my life had become and how it was over while I was just 23 years old.  And so she ammended her original offer of “couch for weekend” to “hey, I have spare room – come live in Durban with me, start over and be you”.

So I did.  The following Friday night, I spontaneously dropped in on her to have “a spot of Earl Gay tea” while I was in the area.  Never having met in person, she bounded out of the elevator and we stood in the doorway crying and hugging and laughing and speaking over each other all at once. That night I met Cath’s Will, Cath’s home, which immediately felt like mine.  We ended up having a ripper of an evening as my friend Kimbo and I gatecrashed their plans and pretty much spent the following 72 hours in a mess of fun.  I cannot put it in words to you how the smallest woman in the world with the biggest heart and I just gelled.  Instantaneously we had a connection, there was never one moment of “oh shit, this is awkward”.  It could probably be summed up with this:

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The following week, on a Friday, Cath took the afternoon off while I drove through to the big city with all my clothes, my step dad in his big truck holding my furniture in tow.  Cam and Cath helped me unpack my things that night, we stayed up late every night for about a month going through stories and childhood antic swaps and became besties in real life.  Every day she’d come home to me on the couch with my computer, job hunting.  And then we’d have tea and a smoke. Because all things with The Shath started with a smoke break and sckck4t.  That’s how we began to, how we did, and how we always will, roll mother trucker. Aside from when either one of us was on the loo with the door open and the other in the passage hallway having a full on life conversation like there was nothing strange about it.  Because, to be honest, for us it never was.

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I’m still in so much nonlesbianlove with this amazing, amazing intense*** person and even though we don’t live together anymore, we’re a part of each others lives daily.

I miss you, Cathcath.


* Yeah, this is codespeak.  Completely.
** Meh.  I'll blog about it in full detail one day.
*** Cath, your intensity is what got us here.  Your intensity is why I love, laugh and lived with you. Don't ever second guess it.


  1. Shebee says:

    CC – I highly recommend you find one, they’re so entertaining.

    Leez – omfg! I can’t remember the last time we had any interaction beside gaychat and facebook! Yes, we put lesbians to shame!

  2. Briget says:

    You are both such awesome awesome babes.. even if you call each other whore.. ok.. probably because you call each other whores..

    Whatever.. you guys ROCK!

    now where my tissue..

  3. Leez says:

    yeah, i know… but got loads of time. told u im one of those anon stalker types… and cath posted the link on fb! the whore and fuckface was adorable. almost made my cry too

  4. cath says:

    Oh, and btw, I AM INTENSE! We love it that way! WAH!


    Because, you know, i’m here to tent.



  5. Scott says:

    I dunno- men just have a second beer and flip their wors* in silence- that’s a deep friendship, too, right?
    *meant to sound like that, totally.
    Still- it was really cool to see the generation of a friendship- very touching.

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