And then sometimes…

You breathe a sigh of relief.

“It’s all going to be okay,” you tell yourself.  After endless worry, doubt, hoping, crossing fingers, crying tears of sadness for a loved one, something wonderful happens and the universe realigns.

Well done, Mama Bear.  You deserve this.

On Madagascar, life and blogging.

I opened up my WordPress dashboard, and half expected some bats to fly out through cobwebs and dusty balls of mildew.  It’s been a while, blog, I know.  And while I have missed you – I feel that I don’t have the energy to blog the way I used to.  Hell, I might not even have any readers left.  Me, the former SA blogging queen and spokesperson.  Things change though, and I suppose my life has gone from one end of the stick to the other, and while it’s all good and I’m very happy, it does indicate that blogging is no longer my catharsis as it once was.  I’m not bovvered though, I’ll still write when I feel the need. Like right now.

So much has changed since my last post.  For one, I write this now while on leave.  A nearly full month’s leave, I might add.  It has been fantastic.  I’ve had hours with my friends on the South Coast, gone to Madagascar and back, lived on a cruise liner for a week, spent time with in Ballito with my other mother and sister, and convinced my mother to move back to Joburg.  Yes, in December she ran away and moved back to KZN.  But that was just silly, though, wasn’t it?  She’s seen the light and has come back to her rightful place, near me, where I can keep an eye on her and beat away male suitors with a broom stick and a beady eye.

I’m also very relieved for my mom.  The four major issues she’s been contending with lately might have all been solved in one fell swoop this afternoon.  Hold thumbs, blog, the call should come at any moment to confirm it.  And then I will sigh a huge, emotional sigh of relief and hope.  My mom needs a break.  She’s been through far too much.

Jon and I are contemplating selling the duplex  we live in and buying a house together.  We want a bar.  And a garden.  And a pool of our own and the ability to hang towels over the railings without getting complaint letters from the body corporate.  Most of all, we want to have dogs.  And we want sprogs, although me more insistently if I’m honest.  My womb’s clock is louder London’s Big Ben’s big gong* at the moment.

Having had time off from work to regroup, align life goals and dreams.  Last year’s was my career.  I’m happy where I am work wise, and I’ll continue to set targets and work smartly, so I’ve decided this year’s focus will be on future possibilities in my private life.  Jon and I are doing well.  So well, in fact, that I think I might just be in love.  Really, really, really in love.  Like the forever love kind of love.  It’s awesome, and comfortable and easy and fun.  I never knew relationships were supposed to be like this.  He’s taught me to trust, confide, discuss and think about love.  He’s taught me kindness and compassion and what it’s like to be an equal partner.

Now, I’m going to address the white elephant in the room.  No, we did not get engaged in Madagascar.  Contrary to popular opinions and wishful thinking of our friends I’m told that there were even bets on a cruise ship proposal (I’m looking at you Heidi!).  It’s not that we’re afraid of commitment.  It’s not even that we’re not sure of each other (I hope I speak for the both of us here.  I do, right, Jon?  Right?), but we’ll do it in our own time.  Right now, we’ve got the most amazing thing going.  We’re secure in each other and the way I see it is that if I get bling out of this sometime, I’ll be stoked.  But it’s not the be all and end all of who Jon and I are together.  Now can our loved ones all fuck off and leave us alone?  :P

Having said all of that, I will leave you with a few photos from our Madagascan trip.  It was beautiful and relaxing and I’m so glad we went.  I hope you’re all well.  Drop a line to say you’ve popped by, if you can.

* Big gong.  I dare you to tell me that didn’t make you think “big dong“.

2012 Goals

There aren’t many.  I haven’t made any major goals this year.  Mostly because last year was such a tough one, I decided 2012 will be a year of happiness and taking it easy.

• This year I will be confident.
• This year I will be positive.
• This year I will be loving and kind.
• This year I will be relaxed.
• This year I will go with the flow.
• This year I will be calm.

More importantly, this year I will…

• do lots of sexercise
• laugh whenever I can
• choose want over need
• indulge whims
• see friends whenever I can
• work as hard as I need to
• read more
• keep in touch with loved ones
• continue to eat healthily (4kg down already!)
• take more photos
• blog when I feel like blogging
• remain motivated

December was crazy.  At one point I need I felt I needed a mind condom for all the mind fucking going on.  Too few ups and far too many downs.  Although I took a week to work from home I, you know, worked from home.  So I haven’t really had a break at all and I’m literally counting down the hours until the cruise.  It’s only in 3 weeks time!

I keep reminding myself of this picture.  Every time I feel overwhelmed, underwhelmed, POd or bored, I think to myself…

Buck up, fucker, you’ll be here in 3 weeks:

Yes.  In a swimming pool.  Wearing a sarong.  Sipping on peniscoladas and snacking on strawberries.  I’ll read my Kindle, flip through magazines, be offline and stare at Jon lovingly.

And when I’m back from that, only after just under a month please note, I will dominate this year’s work goals.  Of those, there are quite a few.

Until then, I’ll be here blogging away… when I feel like it.

Happy New Year!

2011 in review…

As some of the older readers know, every year I do an annual wrap up.  Here’s 2007, 2008, 2009 & 2010‘s.  More importantly, here’s 2011′s:

Things I learned:

• Work smart, not hard.  I sometimes still battle with this one, bit essentially I think I’ve mastered it.
• Let anger go.  It only brings me down, and I’ve learned that the quicker I let my anger go, the quicker I can deal with things.
• The center of attention is not always the best place to be.  Sometimes it’s okay to arrive unnoticed and be the silent ninja.  You learn more that way, usually.
• Being too friendly with colleagues isn’t always appropriate.  I think this is the biggest lesson I’ve learned in 2011.  As I’m the boss, not everyone wants me in their inner circle.  At first it hurt, but eventually I made peace with it and now enjoy the moments I can to laugh and have fun with the dudes I work with.
• Fake it ’til you make it!
• Make sushi.  Not only do I eat it now, but I can make it too!  Look at me getting over my phobia!

Things I did:

• Spontaneously booked and paid for an international cruise with Jon.  This only happens in 2012 (less than 6 weeks until we’re in Madagascar!!!!) but I am ridiculously excited!
• Got promoted.  Woohoo!
• Developed a routine at home.
• Convinced my mom to move up to Joburg – best idea ever!
• Had my first ever car accident.  Through no fault of my own.
• Spoiled myself with the brand new iPhone 4s.  Happy Christmas to Sheena, Love Sheena!

Things I loved in 2011:

• Jon and I share the happiest, most drama-free and loving relationship I’ve ever experienced.  I’m so lucky to have him share this life with me.
• Solidified friendships that had been neglected.
• Having my mom and littlest brother just 5 minutes up the road from me.
• Swimming on hot Summer days in the pool, followed by a water massage in the jacuzzi at my mom’s.

Things I got sad about:

• Jadie passing away too young
• My mom’s heart being taken advantage of
• Seeing my family home going to waste in an unhappy environment, and saying good bye to childhood memories in that same house

Things I want for 2012:

• A fully developed team at work – right now we’re overbooked and under resourced, I’d like this to change
• I believe in keeping things alive in the relationship.  Stagnation isn’t good for any couple.  I look forward to what 2012 brings for Jon and I, we have a fair amount of things to accomplish around the house and such.  It’ll be a good year for us both, I know it.
• A loving year for my friends and family, God knows we all need it.
• No drama, no deaths and no distractions from my goals.  If I get just a little bit of those wishes granted, I’ll be grateful

I’ve got a strong circle of friends, filled with amazing and inspiring people, and my family has become secure and is on the way to happiness again.  This year devastated us, the divorce was hard on everyone.  But I’m starting to finally see a glimpse of the light at the end of the tunnel for my mom and brother.  It’s been a hard, but blessed year.  I’ve come into my own with that whole adulthood thing.

Merry Christmas everyone, and happy New Year.  I hope 2012 is better for us all!

And to end off, here are some of my favourite photos of 2011.

#GratefulEveryday

Dave started a hash tag a few months ago that he (cough cough) no longer participates in.  Every night before I go to bed, I outline at least one thing I am grateful for.  I might not tweet it, but I make sure #GratefulEveryday is a habit I don’t break, even though.  Lately, I see a few bloggers doing the rounds of what they’re grateful for.  I decided to take part.

1. I’m grateful to have a really good friend as my other half.  Jon and I love each other, yet we’ve struck up the most beautiful friendship on top of the intimacy of being in a relationship.  We giggle, laugh, tease and joke with each other constantly.  He’s my number 1 go to person whenever I need advice or to vent or just to share something.  I like to think he does the same with me.  I fell in love with this man before we became friends, which was the topsy-turvy way of going about this relationship thing, but I’m so grateful we have the best of both worlds in each other.
2. I’m grateful to have my mom right up the road for me.  I honestly don’t know how I lived so far away from her before.  If I don’t see her every 3 days or so, it feels like there’s something missing.  I’m also very selfish, but since she’s single again I feel like I have her full attention when I’m around.  It’s been a long time since I felt that with my mom.  Aside from everything else, the emotional support we give each other is second to none.  And it’s wonderful that I can pop in for a ten minute coffee on my way home most days.  I’m very lucky.
3. I’m grateful for my lifestyle.  Jon and I share a good, fulfilling and happy life.  We can afford to be comfortable and go out for dinner, we can happily stay at home and watch TV or read books the whole weekend.  It’s completely up to us what we do with our life, and I’m grateful that we have the choice on when to change that option.
4. I’m grateful for my family.  I know loads of other people who don’t like their siblings.  I love mine!  They’re insane, funny, ridiculous and awesome, all at once.  My parents are fantastic, and they raised us with very alternative methods, but I think we turned out okay.
5. I’m grateful for my career.  I love the people I work with and even though I don’t always come home with a smile on my dial, for the most part, I am grateful I have work issues to contend with – I could be a street walker!

I need a break.

It’s been a very busy month for me.  I am desperate for a break and although I’ll be working from home this festive season, I don’t get leave until February.  But at least then I can say I’M ON A BOAT, BITCHES!

Was in Cape Town last week.  It was pretty eventful:

1. On the plane I fell asleep and was startled by the overhead announcer who was so loud that I jumped out of my seat, my right arm flew into the face of the dude next to me and his drink spilled all over us both.  He was not stoked.
2. Five minutes later, I choked on a chip and the same dude had to give me the Heimlich maneuver.
3. My hotel shuttle didn’t arrive to pick me up from the airport, so I found another taxi and the driver assumed I was from London so started telling me all about Apartheid and Robben Island.  I felt like I couldn’t disappoint him so adopted a British accent for the entire drive.
4. Once I arrived at my hotel, I found out it was self catering to 4 star business executives.  Would’ve been fine except I was starving and they didn’t have space at any restaurant within walking distance to feed me.  Instead, I opted to take a stroll to the nearest supermarket to get some grub.  I managed to find a mini margarine, half a liter of milk and a loaf of bread with some cheese slices.  On my way back, I was accosted by a homeless person who wouldn’t take the Joburg standard response of “Not today, buddy”.  He eventually started screaming and chasing after me when I began to trot away from him.  To keep him at bay, I began to throw slices of bread over my shoulder while yelling for him to leave me alone.
5. Walked into the hotel reception’s glass door.  Twice.

Pushing and pulling…

You know when you have so much to talk about but none of it is blog friendly?  Ya, that.

Suffice it to say, my mother is a superwoman who deserves flowers, chocolates and hugs every day.

Also, I’m really tired.  I’m currently running a full time job, plus trying to get two family businesses off the ground.  It’s quite hectic.

Speaking of that, if you are in the Fourways/Bryanston area and need a beautician who is homely, comfortable and awesome at pampering people, get hold of my mom.  If you tell her I sent you, she’ll give you 20% discount.

Not bad, hey?

I’m not pinterested…

…in anything other than searching for, finding and pinning a million pictures from absolute strangers on the internet.  I’ve alternated between wanting to become a restaurant owner, a house wife, an interior designer and being pregnant at least twelve times over the last twelve hours.  Just so that I can redo the bathroom/kitchen/bedroom/nurserywhichdoesn’tevenexist.

You see, readers, I have discovered Pinterest.  I knew this would happen.  I knew that if I gave in and signed up I would become addicted and get sucked in.  So I skim read other bloggers posts’ about it, I glanced over any mention of it over Twitter and I ignored any reference to it whatsoever as far as possible.  Until Jon said I could go ahead and redesign our en suite bathroom.  Then all hell broke loose.

I went from “Hmmmm, that’s nice” to “MUST. PIN. ALL. THE. THINGGGGSSSSSSSS!!!!!!” in less than two hours.

Jon went to bed neglected, alone and full of bitterness for this world we live in.  His girlfriend had been abducted by the internet once again and left him the victim, unloved, unfed and miserable.

Meanwhile, in Pinterest land:

and

and

and

and

and

combined have made me into a walking, talking, jabbering, Martha Stewart home-decoring, amazing-food-cookering, Nostradamus-thinkering, decopaging fool that has decided to overhaul the entire house decor, repaint everything, consider planting an entire new garden, fully equip myself with an antique store of my own and, hell, while we’re at it, let’s just move to America becauseohmygodtheyhaveeverything!

It’s official.  Pinterest has ruined my life.

Say Mo to Movember!

I’ve always been a sucker for charity.  Every year I pick one to support, and usually it’s to do with animals or children. However, I do have another thing in my life that I love as much as puppies and/or children and that is my man.  Who is unfortunately supporting Movember again this year.

There are many things I refuse to put up with when it comes to Jon, such as:

1. Waking up early on the weekend, he learnt very quickly to not wake me up unless he was either on fire or the house was under attack or water
2. Joining him when he goes running.  Why anyone chooses to run when they are not being chased or forced by gun point is beyond me.  Also, have you SEEN the size of my breasts?  I’d suffocate myself as they bounced and bobbed over my nose and mouth
3. His knuckle cracking while waiting for me to finish any number of things, smoking, showering, doing makeup, etc.  I’ve threatened him with untimely death over this, drives me fucking bonkers

What I will put up with, however, is the fuzz sprouting on Jon’s face currently.  Not only does it turn him into a primal caveman look-a-like, but it’s for a good cause.  He’s taken a stand against testicular cancer by joining in on Movember.  Balls*!   Please join in on the fun this month, we can bet on our men, and point and laugh at their facial hairs irritating the shit out of them.

You can pledge for Jon here.  Do it for humanity, and the balls attached to half of it.

xxx

*Sorry, couldn’t resist.