Grumpasaurus on bed rest

If I need bloody bubble bath, I have to rely on someone to choose a nice one at the shops for me. I can't reach my fucking toes and my back aches all the time from being on bed rest. I haven't been able to paint my nails in so many weeks my nails aren't even stained anymore. For someone into nailpolishing, they'd know this was unheard of. My eyebrows are so bushy I look like Madonna circa 1996.