So here are the answers ;)

1.  Bergen Larsen 

Did you hear I have big tonsils? [true story] <- why, yes, I did hear.  How’s that working out for you?

2.   ExMi 

right.

i have MANY questions. <- of course you do.  I’m so surprised.

1. (name and shame) worst shag ever, and why. <- Probably a dude called Andrew.  Sadly, Cath has blackmail on me that she won’t let me forget.  She brings it up whenever I refuse to do anything her way.  Why was he the worst?  Because it was just sex.  And not even the mind-blowing kind.  Believe it or not, I am old fashioned and of the firm belief that I should actually like the person I allow inside my body.
2. last lie/bullshit story you told and why. <- Ah shit.  I could get into so much kak answering this! Um, I mislead someone into thinking that something I did was
3. just how big *are* your boobs? <- Sigh.  Before I was pregnant they were a normal sized 34 D.  After I was pregnant they shot up to 36 DD sizes, depending on the make.  Most manufacturers are naff and make that size too small, so when I do find a bra that fits well, I buy a milliontyseven of them in every colour.
4. am i ever going to get my black pinstripe blazer and brown dress back? <- your pin stripe? For shizzle.  The dress?  I dunno.  I quite like it hey.
5. who, on the internets, would you shangalang with, given half a chance and a rohepnol? <- Seriously? Oh come on, how lame.  Besides, what if I’ve already shtupped the ones I wanted to?
6. who’s your daddy? <- Your mother.
7. S, WCAM. <- SNORTFUCKINGCOPTER!

okay, so the last two aren’t technically questions, but whatever yo.

snortcopter.

5.   wenchy

Would you do me? lol Sorry, first question that came to find after reading the delightful ExMi’s list <- Dude, I’d totally do you.  Just as soon as I’ve accomplished my fantasy of doing the horizontal fandango with Lindsay Lohan.

6.   Gina

Hmmmm, questions….

1. Do you own any adult toys? <- Not at the present, no.

2. What is the real colour of your hair? <- Brunette with a tinge of red that shines through in sunlight.  I hardly ever dye my hair.  In fact, before this year I hadn’t done it since I was 18.

3. Weirdest place you ever had sex? <- waterslide at Valley of the Waves in Sun City.  You know you’re jealous.

Just to get the ball rolling…  <- and roll it most certainly has!

7.   cath 

1. Do you really think my new shoes are odern? <- wah.  I loves your shoes.
2. If you werent going to shit pooh, what would you shit? <- golden dusticles.
3. If there was one thing you wish you doesnt have to worry about again, what would it be? <- losing someone as special as you in my life.  Awwwww.
4. How much more code speak could I throw into these questions, disguised as horrific grammar? <- I’m pretty sure everyone reading this right now is questioning your capability as a professional writer.  heh
5. Did you know that i recently purchased an abundance of pens? <- oh em gee.  So jealous!
6. When do you think Vodacom will sponsor me? <- right after MTN sponsors me of course.
7. How is the new kettle? <- Sob! Not nearly as interesting as our Fred kettle! It doesn’t even boil when I WANT it to, never mind when I don’t expect it to.
8. Have you had sex in your new place yet? <- Fuck.  Not! How frikking depressing, right?

8.   cath

oh and Sheena, as for ExMi’s question number 5, i have that confession on video

 <- haha.  Yeah, you do.  Then again – you do have much more on me than most people.

9.   Snappingturtle  

1… What part of your body do you love the most? <- ohh.  My eyelashes.
2… What part of your body do you dislike the most? <- my stomache
3… Which boy was your best bonk? And the worst? <- haha.  Um.  Wow.  Hi, ex boyfriends now stalkers… I suggest you stop reading here.  My best ever, ever?  Jaun.  Hands down.
4… When are you coming riding at @merylpixelmagic  <- not sure hey.  I’m still learning to not be scared of them equinimals when they’re just standing, nevermind when I’m on top of them.

10. Richard

I Really Need To Get Laid By A Donkey With A Big Penis ?? <- haha klonk.  Incorrect.

11. Richard

I Really Need To Get Laid By A Dude With A Big Penis ? <- again with the spaces before question marks! Yuck! 

12. Richard

Sex toys, yes / no ? <- Now, no.
Sexy time, yes / no ? Yes please.
Wildest fantasy !? Shooo.  This seriously goes against my wishes, but a promise is a promise.  I want to do crazy things with a man blindfolded on top of a waterfall.
Craziest thing you’ve done while being naked? <- Bloody hell, where was YOUR mind when you wrote these, Rick?  Ummm.  I totally assaulted someone in the middle of the night because I thought he was a robber.  He wasn’t.  I’d forgotten I’d hooked up with him.
Threesomes? Nah, I’m not a sharer.

13. angel

Whats your favouritist cocktail? <- pina colada, hands down.
Do you want a big classic wedding of your own one day? <- classic? Never.  Insane and fun?  Definitely.  But the likelihood of me ever settling down is, at this stage, very slim.
Have you ever watched Stargate SG-1? <- waha.  Yes, I nodded off.
What makes you squeamish? <- spit.  Seriously.  I’ll take blood and gore over snot and spit.  Ewwww.
What’s your favourite appliance? <- Right now? Heater.  In general, my GHD.
Whats your dream car? <- it used to be the new fuckoff GTI, but I’ve become quite partial to the Peugeot 206 GTI.

14. BlindCripple

Do you snore? Only when sick.
Do you know that for a fact? Yes.

On top or bottom? Sideways 😉

Hands or mouth… Both ways actually. Huh?

Do you have a favourite movie? Don’t laugh.  Love Actually will always be *my* classic.  But I am very partial to dark comedy, rip-offs like Scary Movie, Road Trip types and one or two shit-your-pants films.

Are you a screamer? Mmmmmaybe…

How many boys have you been in love with? Shew.  I nearly died thinking you’d asked something else.  I’ve loved 4 men in my life. 
And how many have loved you? (that you know of) Oh jeeez man.  6?

Series: Entourage. The language alone will get you watching. <- shot!

 

And, lastly, does size matter? Wait, let me rephrase, do you like ’em big? <- Oh my fuck, Neal! How the hell am I meant to answer that?!  Yes.  Show me one girl who doesn’t.  But seriously, you could have the biggest tool in the county, it still wouldn’t impress me if you didn’t operate it compatibly with …my equipment.

 

And then, finally – Baldy asked me:

 

What does S, WCAM mean.  Bastard.

 

So, okay.  I’m absconding from my own rules.  Purely because it doesn’t just involve me.  Other people could be affected too, if this becomes public knowledge.  Just know that it is a euphemism for something I did with Exmi, with remote involvement of Snowgoose and it was HILARIOUS.  And took place in Rivonia, on a Saturday afternoon, with some intoxication and no scruples.  Also, our eyes were running and our cheeks tear-stained from laughter.  And it was illegal.

 

Very illegal.

 

But fuckoff funny.  That’s all I’m saying.

7 comments

  1. Cath says:

    Let me just say uh huh. With an upwards intonation at the end. 😛 ah yes. Andrew. Was trying to remember his name the other night but kept bursting into laughter. X

  2. BlindCripple says:

    What do you do with your hands or your mouth? Or sometimes both. It was a reference on your willingness to… Ummm… Or are you just selfish when he… Ummm… You know what i mean now? (I’m not really this shy. I promise) 😛

  3. Amy says:

    Dude, you answered some seriously perverted questions with much dignity there Sheena. Well done to you , young lady!

  4. Bergen Larsen says:

    I’m totally stoked at the fact that I got answered first. SO for your edification. The tonsils are feeling happy now, should probably as if they are still absolutely huge.

Comments are closed.