Scar Tissue

Scar tissue that I wish you saw
Sarcastic mister know it all
Close your eyes and I’ll kiss you cause
With the birds I’ll share
With the birds I’ll share
This lonely view
With the birds I’ll share
This lonely view

Push me up against the wall
Blood loss in a bathroom stall
Southern girl with a scarlet drawl
To lick your heart and taste your health cause
With the birds I’ll share
This lonely view…

Soft spoken with a broken jaw
Step outside but not to brawl
Autumn’s sweet we call it fall
I’ll make it to the moon if I have to crawl

and With the birds I’ll share
This lonely view…
A scar on my breast – from a previous biopsy.
A scar on left thumb – from when I carved a boy’s name into my skin
A scar on my right wrist – from when a drip kept me alive and sustained for a few days
A scar above my left eye – from when I was punched that one time
A scar on both inner thighs – from various drips and line feeds keeping my blood oxygenated
A scar on my heart – from where they patched the hole I was born with
A scar down the middle of my chest – from when they performed open heart surgery
A scar on my right leg – from falling up the stairs and breaking the femur
A scar on my left foot – from slipping on nothing and breaking it in three places
A scar on my abdomen – where I had my child cut out of my womb.
A scar on my abdomen – where the only evidence of me once being a mother is.
A scar on my abdomen – which holds my damage cervix.
A scar on my abdomen – where it will now be barren.
A scar on my abdomen – the first, the last, the only.
Fuck.

26 comments

  1. StevenMcD says:

    i dunno what to say, my guess is that this is why you’ve been so quiet this week.

    We all love you tons and miss your madness on twitter. I wish there was something I could do or say to make you feel better but there isn’t.

    Just know that we all love you!

    *HUGS*

  2. candles says:

    I want to tell you that you’re too young to have all these scars… but then I know you, and I know that you’ve been here forever, like me.

    I understand. And I care. Xx

  3. Tanz says:

    Been through the mill a bit hey, scars can be quite cool and add character 🙂

    When you say barren, you mean you aren’t able to have more kids? sorry for asking something so personal.

  4. Stalker says:

    I love you and I am worried!! see you this weekend its been too long again my friend just know there is always hope and that we love you very much mwah

  5. Shebee says:

    thank you all for your messages. I’m actually a lot better than it indicates here, promise. I had a moment of weakness but i’m learning that its okay to be a girl who does actually feel sad about things, its almost expected really. Anyway. I’m here, and i’m alive. And there are solutions to most of my problems. So don’t worry about me too much. Xox

  6. Anonymous says:

    Scars are the visible proof that we’ve lived our lives – however much each of them may have hurt.

    Scars are also the proof that a wound has healed physically – have your wounds healed emotionally ?

  7. Pielietjies says:

    You got a fast car,
    I want a ticket to anywhere
    maybe we make a deal,
    maybe together we can get somewhere
    anyplace is better
    starting from zero got nothing to lose
    maybe we’ll make something
    me, myself I got nothing to prove

    you got a fast car
    I got a plan to get us outta here
    been working at the convenience store
    managed to save just a little bit of money
    wont have to drive too far
    just cross the border and into the city
    you and I can both get jobs
    finally see what it means to be living

    see, my old man’s got a problem
    lives with the bottle thats the way it is
    says his body’s too old for working
    I say his bodys too young to look like his
    mama went off and left him
    She wanted more from life than he could give
    I said somebody’s got to take care of him
    So I quit school and that’s what I did

    You got a fast car
    is it fast enough so we can fly away
    we gotta make a decision
    leave tonight or live and die this way

    so remember we were driving, driving in your car
    The speed so fast I felt like I was drunk
    City lights lay out before us
    your arm felt nice wrapped around my shoulder
    and I had a feeling that I belonged
    I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone

    You got a fast car
    we go cruising to entertain ourselves
    still ain’t got a job
    and I work in a market as a checkout girl
    I know things will get better
    You’ll find work and I’ll get promoted
    We’ll move out of the shelter
    Buy a bigger house and live in the suburbs

    So remember we were driving, driving in your car
    The speed so fast I felt like I was drunk
    city lights lay out before us
    your arm felt nice wrapped around my shoulder
    and I had a feeling that I belonged
    I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone

    You got a fast car
    I got a job that pays all our bills
    You stay out drinking late at the bar
    See more of your friends than you do of your kids
    I’d always hoped for better
    Thought maybe together you and me would find it
    I got no plans I ain’t going nowhere
    So take your fast car and keep on driving

    so remember we were driving, driving in your car
    The speed so fast I felt like I was drunk
    the city lights lay out before us
    your arm felt nice wrapped around my shoulder
    and I had a feeling that I belonged
    I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone

    You got a fast car
    is it fast enough so you can fly away
    You gotta make a decision
    You leave tonight or live and die this way

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