Post by bulletpoints.

• Playing paintball whilst Joburg gets more soaked than an English teabag is surprisingly fun.  Especially with a bunch of South African coconuts who had me in stitches for almost six hours.
• Wearing Bergen‘s pj’s after I showered in his shower after playing paintball whilst Joburg gets more soaked than an English teabag was very comfortable.  Cos I know you were wondering.  Yes, you in the back with your finger up your nose.
• My one foot has shrunk.  All of a sudden, my right footed handed shoes are all too big for me and I fall out of them.  Especially my new purple pumps of awesomeness.  What the eff, dudes?
• BettaSnack Wholewheat Digestive biscuits with Caramel Choc topping are divine.  I’ve consumed an entire box over two nights for dinner.  With milk.  In a cup.  Until they’re soggy.
• I dreamt that I grew a tail last night.
• Jon and I will never again be on the same team for 30 seconds.  He’s way too competitive and I’m way too not phased, we just annoy each other.
• My bed.  Oh em gee.  It’s completely and utterly befokked.  I need a new one.
• My sister gets married in T minus 5 sleeps!
• Jon is coming to meet my family in Durban this weekend.  I have the following visions happening in my mind, consequetively:
  • Jon walks in, my brothers circle him and sneer
  • My brothers walk into the house with their underpants on and hats turned backward, Jon looks at me for help
  • My step dad bores him to death with “The Power of the Lesser Spotted Blue Billed Tsetse Fly” or some such equally yawn-inducing talk
  • My mom gets down on her hands and knees and offers Jon Labola for her own daughter
  • My mom gets down on her hands and knees and begs him to give her a grandchild
  • My mom asks him how I am in bed
  • My mom hugs him and kisses him and cries because I’m so happy*
  • Jon sees me in my natural habitat and says “F*ck this for a bag of marshmallows, I’m outta here!”
  • My brothers ask Jon how many wood chucks could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood
• I have to walk down the aisle.  In a dress.  Behind my sister.  Please, please, please, universe – let me know trip over my feet and fall on Cam, causing her to trip on her (MAGNIFICENTLY BEAUTIFUL) designer gown and fall flat on her face.
• May it not rain.  It’s an outdoor wedding.
• I have found a new place to live, maybe.  It’s with two awesome people and its in a beeeeeeg house, I believe.  I’ll be checking it out this week some time.
• Just read Peas On Toast’s book.  I heart it! In fact, I loved it so much I woke up extra early on Sunday morning to finish the last chapter.
• Did I mention my foot is shrinking?  How weird am I?

* Ja, this one is probably inevitable, come to think of it.