Ponderings…

    Love should be forever.  It makes me sad to see people celebrating divorce.  Not that I don’t believe in divorce, per se’, it’s just sad that it happens is all.  Maybe it comes from me being a child out of a broken home, but divorce is not a nice thing. It’s saying goodbye to broken homes, dreams and relationships.  It’s a death of something once looked forward to.  It’s washing away memories of a life shared with another human being.  I just feel that marriage is meant to be commitment to the person you love, for the rest of your life.  It’s sad that sometimes it doesn’t work out that way.  The closet romantic in me cries a sad little howl at the sadness of love ending.  It turns out that I may just be naive on this, I suppose.

    Friendships are hard.  Especially when you fight like sisters.  Hell, I don’t even fight with my sisters like I do with some of my friends.  What’s worse though, not saying anything and letting all the hurt build up inside?  I’m grateful for my friends, even though sometimes I forget to tell them or show it.  Britt and Flea are a testament to how thoughtless I can be sometimes, and I hope that all of my friends realize that even though I’ve been in my own world, I love them very much.  I suppose it goes back to what I said in a protected post I wrote not long ago.

      I suppose that’s all I really wanted to say.  I’ll end off with telling you that I’ve just had my monthly wax *insert expletives here*. On the up side, my face is totally rosey (read: red and blotchy).  But I’m BEAUTIFUL, no matter what they say…

      9 comments

      1. cath Jenkin says:

        You neglectful cunt. 😛

        You know how I’m saying that with love and a smirk because I’m in exactly the same swirl of notimeatall life.Love you big.

        *raises eyebrow, makes half tide tea, misses you and kisses you three*

        x

        p.s. Gloria. OMF. Handy And’. LOL. You know how I feel about Handy And’.

        😛

      2. cath Jenkin says:

        p.s. As for love ending, well, fuck, you were with me when I had to choose between losing the person who I thought was the love of my life, or letting them free.

        Thank fuck I did it.

        Thank fuck because, as something Kevin Smith once re-tweeted…

        “how to get over an unrequited love?” When you find your true love, you’ll feel like an asshole for sweating this prick at all”.

        😀

      3. T says:

        Waaaaaah friendship neglect. It’s the bleakness and I am very guilty of it.

        Blog-commenting-neglect as well.

        Inner implosions!

      4. Justin says:

        Ah Sheens, love is a fight, till your dying day. People give up too easily when things get tough, and in marriage it will ALWAYS get tough, don’t ever expect a rosey marriage all the time.

        Divorce has become too easy and people give up before they have even tried. It actually all comes down to laziness and a lack effort, because marriage is an effort from day one. BUT soooooo incredibly rewarding which far outweighs the lows.

      5. Briget says:

        I was too miserable to celebrate my divorce.

        Before my divorce was finalised I had Grandiose ideas of having a big party. But when it happened I could only shed tears at the end of it all. Even though the marriage itself sucked big huge donkey danglers. It was still sad.

        I then put my big girl panties on and braved the big bad world on my own.. older(much), braver(not really) and wiser (more than I wanted to be) …

        I am not sure if I will go down the road of marriage again but if I do I want to be 2million percent it is going to be forever because the end of such a thing is a terrible thing indeed.

        🙂

      6. Nayes says:

        Divorce is one of those things that you can’t really understand until you’ve been there. It’s easy to sing about how efforts should be put in and people are lazy etc etc. but really at the end of the day sometimes we’re all just human and you have to weigh up the pros and cons of staying in a bad marriage. Do you carry on giving your life to someone who doesn’t want it or do you walk away and make the most of what you have left? It’s easy to say “marriage is about effort from day one” – but it shouldn’t only be about effort. If all you ever do is work on your marriage then it’s not a marriage it’s a chore. Hell yes relationships are hard – but at the end of the day the happy parts and the easy parts should be out-weighing the hard parts. If they’re not then there’s something wrong and the worst thing you can do is listen while everyone guilt trips you for wanting more for yourself and your future. Sometimes love isn’t enough. It’s very nice to think it is but life isn’t about snow white and cinderella. Yes it’s devastating to end something that was once so longed for and cherished – but why keep something at the expense of your own happiness as well as the expense of someone else’s? Getting divorced takes one hell of a lot of guts and courage. It’s not easy. It’s not easy to walk into a courtroom and end something that began so beautifully. So next time you hear someone “celebrating” their divorce try to cut them some slack. It is no small feat to admit the failure of one’s marriage. the celebration comes from a place of moving out of limbo and being able to move on. It doesn’t come from a place of being a lazy asshole who wouldn’t be bothered. You cannot fault anyone for being brave enough to move forward in an attempt to seek out what is best for them.

      7. Shebee says:

        Nades, just to clarify – in no ways am I judging or condemning divorce. My point was that I just find the whole thing very sad that it happens at all. That’s the sole point of what I wrote about above.

      8. Nayes says:

        Yes i know!!! Just giving the two cents worth from this side. I didn’t celebrate my own divorce but i do understand the “need” to do so. My mom likes to go on about how “young people don’t try” – but she never got to know what it was like to have a bad marriage. There are bad circumstances and there are bad marriages – the difference between them is huge. You can have a solid relationship while everything around you falls apart or your relationship can be going to the dogs even though things should be “perfect”. The end of a marriage is sad definitely. But to walk away from someone you might still love takes balls. It’s not always about giving up. Often it’s about moving on.

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