Pixel, the asshole cat that has my heart.

When I first moved in with Jon over three years ago I also inherited two fuzz-ball kittens. Technically, they were already old men kittens, and they’re old men kittens now, but they’re still fuzz-bally, so there’s that. Elvis, the chocolate point siamese, hated me with passion from day one. It was only made worse when his teeth started falling out and I forced the vet on him. It was made worser still when I was the one who had to force medicine down his throat using a syringe while Jon hid out of sight, holding the bloody cat down. It has taken him almost two and a half years to forgive me. And sometimes he only remembers he’s forgiven me when it’s storming outside and he needs a place to hide, or when I get home before Jon and he sees me as his walking, talking, feeding machine.

That’s Elvis. Pixel, on the other hand, thinks the sun shines out my bum. He is a lavender point siamese and besides being hilariously full of character, he follows me everywhere I go, purrs whenever I’m near him, head-bumps whichever part of my body he can reach and constantly talks to me in our very own little human-cat language.

But Pixel is also stupid and lazy as fuck.

Like when he sits on the outside table, watching the birds not two meters away, and tries to mimick their bird-sounds in the hopes one of them will fly into his mouth, without him having to lift a paw, and then falls asleep within seconds:

Or when Jon spends ridiculous amounts of money on ridiculous toys that Pixel shows ridiculous amounts of indifference to:

Or when there’s an evil black jelly bean being thrown at him on the bed:

Or like when he just stares at the bed, for no reason at all, for hours:

stupid cat

I love him so much.  He’s awesome.


  1. Heidi says:

    My cat is an asshole too.

    She regularly decides to go on hunger strikes, for no reason other than she wants better food than she has (we are now feeding her whatever she flippen wants, even if it’s cooked chicken breasts, salami, sausages etc). Sometimes she will not eat cat food and starve herself until she gets human food, sometimes she will not eat human food and will starve herself until she gets cat food, and just as we are about to take her to the vet in a panic, she starts eating everything in site.

    She hates the puppy, sits at the bottom of the stairs and yowls to wake him up as he falls asleep, chases him and slaps him whenever she has a chance, and steals his bed.

    But I flippen love her, she is my original furbaby and I’d be lost without her.

    Stupid cat.

  2. MeeA says:

    LOL! My Magrat thinks she’s a dog and wants to follow me everywhere. And when I go out, she sits in the driveway and waits for me to come home. At which time I usually get a stern talking to for leaving her behind. Not that she’d go with me if I invited her anywhere – she hates the car!
    Can’t believe she’ll be 7 this year!

  3. Angel says:

    Isn’t he a Lilac Point…? 😛 He’s so funny!
    My Greebo is the old man who keeps the cats and dogs in line. Even though he doesn’t have his top two canines anymore, and occasionally his top lip gets stuck on one of the bottom canines, you do not mess with Greebo. He’s the one who summons me at mealtimes too.
    Magic is the one who will come and pester you and tap you to cuddle him until he has enough and walks away.
    And Minx you know, having rescued her out of your own undercarriage… She’s still her mommy’s squeaky baby.

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