On chilled tobacco…

This morning, I spent 20 minutes hunting for my smokes. I know for a fact that I left them upstairs last night because at midnight, I was on the deck smoking while skyping with Heidi. Neither of us could sleep.

This morning, I can’t find the fuckers ANYWHERE.

Eventually Gloria asks me why I’m not in bed “why are you moving? Yonathan he told me you sick, go sleep!”

I told her I couldn’t find my smokes and I was desperate, if she didn’t know where they were either, I said I was going to drive to the shops.

Gloria: No, wait. I know him.
Me: That’s great, Gloria, but I just want a smoke now. I’ll be back in 5 minutes.
Gloria: I know him, it’s on the fridge.

On the fridge? Seriously? I can’t even reach that high. Turns out, on closer inspection, they weren’t “on the fridge” they were INSIDE THE FRIDGE. Or at least, the empty packet was.

The closed, full, brand new packet? Oh, she threw that away.  No really, she did.  I’m not even lying to you.


  1. Seth & Mavis says:

    Is this some lame attempt to be 2 Oceans Vibe?

    Seth’s “Mavis” tales were at least amusing.

  2. Shebee says:

    Troll, thanks for your comment.

    If you were a regular reader, you’d see that I’ve just moved and acquired a new maid. You’d also know that I write about most humorous things in my life.

    Gloria is a new comer over the last two weeks and despite frustrating me to hell and back, she’s fun to write about. But honestly? Although I’ve never read about Seth’s Mavis (I’m an irregular 2ov reader), the comparison is ridiculous, I have my own blogging regime, style and voice. I wouldn’t want to be anyone else. Especially Seth, he works wayyy too hard for my liking, I’m happy in my own blog world.

    That said, if you don’t like it, don’t read it.


  3. T says:

    Gloria is telling you to quit smoking silly, it’s quite clear that’s her motivation.

    Maybe she thought it would help the healing process?

  4. MsBehavn says:

    I also have a “Gloria”. Whatever I ask her to do, she says “awkay”. Clearly, I speak chinese cos the things I ask her to do don’t get done until I’ve asked three or four times!

    Hang in there Shee, the two of you will eventually come to some sort of understanding!

  5. Jean Pant says:

    I absolutely HATE looking for my smokes. My housekeeper also throws my packets away, or purposefully hides them from me because she hates cleaning out my ashtrays.

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