Nick The Prick (returns)

I know I have been whinging lately, but flipping hell, today has been one of the worst days so far! And its only been going for 3 hours!

I got out of the wrong side of the bed this morning, literally. I woke up back to upside down and front, stood up and fell right back down again as I slipped on a slipper. Apt name, that…

I then got to the kitchen, blurry eyed and bushy tailed, to make myself coffee only to realize i left the milk out and it was now sour and lumpy.

I looked up out the kitchen only to notice that my bloody birds had chewed the beautiful beaded curtains to bits, and they were scattered all over the counter and in the sink.

I forgot my laptop at home and had to reopen and close the gate and reverse up my stuffed up driveway to fetch it

I was running late as I got to the post office to pick up my mail and deliver my bosses to him

I forgot to fetch my little brother and drop him off at work so had to go back

On my way to town, who do I drive passed? Oh, only Nick the Prick. Yes, THE Nick the Prick. Of all fucking people! Why him? What the hell is he doing back here? I automatically go into panic mode, call a cop friend of mine to find out whats going on. He calms me down, promises to get the down low and call me back.

Turns out, he’s just here for a holiday and will be leaving next week. Asshole! The audacity of him coming here, ‘for a holiday’.

I hope he drowns in the sea and gets eaten by sharks surrounding all the sardines along the coastline at the moment. And then the sardines should feed off his leftovers and poo him out. And the plankton can get him too. Prick.