Nanga the Incredible

I know this is a very #firstworldproblems and #whitepeopleproblems thing to blog about, which will probably get me some flack, but you guys, I just can’t deal with the replacement maid.  My beloved Thembi has gone on maternity, and in her place she has sent her neighbour.  This woman, let’s nickname her ‘Nanga’, is incredible.  Thembi brought her in for a trial a few weeks before she went on leave.  I had a cup of tea with her in the morning and Nanga and I had chats about all sorts of things, including where she lived, what her favourite foods were and her preferred terms of employment while she was to be Thembi’s replacement.  She was a bit soft spoken, but seemed lovely and sharp and very eager.  I left her and Thembs assuming that Thembi would show her the ropes.

I’m not sure what happened between that day and now.  It’s like she was never there at all.  Aside from not understanding where I could possibly keep any of the cleaning agents (under the sink in the kitchen), or that we do in fact own a broom and feather duster, she has single handedly managed to repack Jon’s entire wardrobe into mine, unpacked and restacked the plastic cupboard with the crockery, pots and ramekins, all on top of each other balancing like a Jenga game.  So well balanced that when I pulled one little thing out the cupboard yesterday, 12 ramekins fell and shattered all over the kitchen floor.

She insists on pushing both my curtains to the right hand side of the rail.  Why?  Why not have one curtain on each side? Why?!?!?!?!  The other day I pointed to the dead flowers in my room and asked her if she could please clean up the petals when she had a second.  The next time I came back to the room, she’d very neatly swept up all the petals, and then put them into a little pile, on TOP of the dead flower heads.  ON TOP.  OF THE DEAD FLOWER HEADS.

I then called her back and apologised for being unclear.  I reiterated that I’d meant she should please throw the flowers OUT.  A half an hour later, I saw that she had moved the flowers, with the neatly piled petals placed on top of the dead flower heads, and placed them nicely on the table outside.  I guess that’s what she understood “out” meant.  Outside.

This morning I asked her if Thembs had had her baby yet:

Me: Nanga has Thembi had her baby yet?

Nanga; Yes.

Me: Really?! When? Oh my gosh I must phone her! I’m so excited!

Nanga: Yes.

Me: Is it a boy or a girl? When did she have the baby?

Nanga: No.

Me: No?

Nanga: Yes.

Me: …

Me: ……..

Nanga: No baby.

Me: Huh? Thembi didn’t have her baby?

Nanga: Yes.

I just don’t know.  I am fully aware of how indulgent and ridiculous this post is, please know that I know, I’m not totally ignorant.  Just so very frustrated.  And I know that things could be so much worse and how dare I complain about something so trivial, but this woman has to be in my house.  I’m worried she burns it down!  How am I going to get along with her for the next 3 months?

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UPDATE: 17 DECEMBER 2014

Nanga today informed me via SMS that she will be taking a few days off to go down to Eastern Cape.  She can’t tell me how many days, only that she will speak with me tomorrow morning when she gets in.  The SMS read, verbatim, “I am hereby requesting permission to close down tomorrow, so I’m just asking for some few leave days, I want to go to the Eastern Cape.  Thanks, Nanga”.

 

8 comments

  1. KaB says:

    LOL dude…don’t feel bad…you’re employing someone and providing a job, you have every right to complain and NOT feel bad about it! The ramekins would have pissed me right off…jissie!

  2. Tara says:

    I was going to ask you wtf a ramekin was, but I googled instead. I have learnt now that those small things we just call bowls/dishes in this house actually have a name. Screw you dude. 😉

  3. WoodGuy says:

    Firstly be very careful, this is a technique used by the staff more likely to steal from you, first they hide the stuff and see what you don’t look for, once they know what you use less often, it will migrate straight to the township. I have seen this many many times in my business career and at home.

  4. Angel says:

    Oh dear… I am so sorry she’s not like Thembi, and I so hear you on feeling like a spoilt brat when you complain about problems with your maid.

  5. Momma Bear says:

    go back to cleaning service for three months child. Put your feel sorry attitude on the shelf she is just going to put added pressure on you and moan at Thembi for leaving this lady to help you. I know you are the most patient with your staff it ain’t going to work.

  6. helen says:

    I have the most amazing lady and her amazing daughter (daughter fills in for the mother from time to time but they are equally awesome). The daughter was retrenched a while ago and can’t find work. Good English, great sense of humor, cleans like a demon, and if I can’t find something I phone and ask. She also cleans things I didn’t ask her to just to give me a happy surprise when I come home. Like all my windows. Or descaling the kettle. Let me know if you want a phone number? I can’t recommend her enough and I can’t afford to give either of them more days.

  7. Shebee says:

    UPDATE: 17 DECEMBER 2014

    Nanga today informed me via SMS that she will be taking a few days off to go down to Eastern Cape. She can’t tell me how many days, only that she will speak with me tomorrow morning when she gets in. The SMS read, verbatim, “I am hereby requesting permission to close down tomorrow, so I’m just asking for some few leave days, I want to go to the Eastern Cape. Thanks, Nanga”.

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