My other half has left me…

So today and tomorrow and Thursday I go back to being a single woman.  It’s been two years since I was a single woman, but since Jon is in another zip code (Cape Town), I am allowed to cheat according The Bro Code.  So please could all my other boyfriends line up outside my door from tonight at about 7.30pm.  Thanks.

In related news, I will be home alone until Thursday night 🙁

It is the first time I’ll be sleeping at our house without Jon. Not counting the night’s I’ve kicked him out of bed and made him sleep outside, in the snow, barefoot, on the veranda.  It’s going to be so weird, man.  Also, I’m going to be cold.  And it’s no fun stealing pillows from the other side of the bed when there’s no one to poke me for it.  Also, I’ll be showering with the bathroom door securely LOCKED.  I will not be a slasher movie cliche, dudes.  Even if my shower doesn’t have the proverbial curtain necessary with which the axe murdered will stab me through.

Jon is flying to meet his new niece, Rebecca, and I’m superbly jealous.  Specifically because I won’t be able to see her in the awesome punk rocker ballet shoes we bought for her.  And because he’ll be in Cape Town, which is cool in itself.  Instead, I will be at home in charge of feeding the boy cats (mental note: DON’T FORGET TO FEED THE BOY CATS!) and working.

I was totally cool with not going, until this morning while I watched Jon pack his bags.  Sipping my coffee, I couldn’t help but think in a panic-stricken inner voice “WHO WILL BE MAKING ME COFFEE TO WAKE UP TO?!” and other similar endearing things.

I also hope that my car (which has been severely painful lately) does not decide to give me shit.  The battery died twice last week (Jon had to drive back home after arriving at the office, Googled how to jump-start a battery, couldn’t figure out how to open the car bonnet, squealed about getting grease on his hands [snigger] and then couldn’t figure out how to close the car bonnet after the car roared to life).

I’ve forgotten how to be single!  Sigh.  It’s going to be a long week.

Ps: I’m going to miss you babe*.

 

* Hurry home**.
** And bring presents***.
*** If you want****.
**** Please.

 

7 comments

  1. Amy says:

    Aww… i’m sure you’ll be just fine Sheens! And two years huh? Mick and I are just over two years aswell….except if i got a night with the bed too myself i’d be ecstatic!

  2. meggie moo says:

    sheena bean bwahahaha..you are hilarious my old friend, anyway you take it easy being a single chick. Lots of love to you x

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