My Jewish Boyfriend.

I absolutely adore my Jon. He’s wonderful to me and makes me love him more and more all the time. But there are certain things about him that I simply cannot keep from the internet any longer.

For those of you who have met him, you will already know that he is a gem. An absolute diamond in the rough, one who speaks as if he is from the 19th Century. He does this often. He is well mannered, perfectly polite and impeccably well spoken & exquisitely charming. He’s also completely fucking OCD, but that’s besides the point.

The thing I tease him love most about him is that he is a grinder. You know how when you get cut off in traffic and you stick your finger out the window whilst shouting obscenities? Jon grinds his teeth. You know how when you get so mad that you throw things, screech and threaten? Jon grinds his teeth, loudly.

When he is disappointed, he uses big words. Or bribes me emotionally. Like the other day when my old Blackberry committed suicide and died, I had to ask Facebook to send me his number. Yes, it’s disgusting that I don’t know his number, I know I know. What did Jon do? He quietly sighed, smsed me his number and then repeated mine verbally every time I looked at him the next few days.

So it was when he forwarded me this email he sent to Vodacom today, that I cracked up.  I shared it with ExMi first, and then on her insistance, decided to share it here too:


Click on pic for bigger image!

Disclaimer:  Thank god he loves me back and accepts me the way I accept him, because believe it or not I’m posting this with his permission.  Sort of kinda.


  1. Gina says:

    Only a nice Jewish boy would CC his mother. Its a good trait to have, means he has respect drilled into him and a healthy fear of the guilt she would dispense on him if he didn’t.
    You have a keeper there!!!

  2. Kevin says:

    ooooo, you would so be in shit if I was him. But I do feel that I need to stand up for poor Johno on this attack.
    1. Grinding of teeth shows an ability to think before acting. Something that most of us don’t do.
    2. “Use of big words”?? – all I can say to that nonsensical imprudent attitude is “get a dictionary”
    3. 31min31sec – damn straight, shows them you are not making this up.
    4. cc’ing his mom – yes, it’s important for us to show our mothers that we did learn something from them, and can now stand on our own two feet.

    So I say, way to go John! Give em hell. and SheBee….get a dictionary.

  3. Shebee says:

    Gina- yes, he is a keeper, this I know 🙂

    Kevin – jeez buddy, Jon and I are having a laugh as I type this, no need to be emotional. Just because I make fun of his big words doesn’t mean I don’t understand them.

  4. Tiffany the Jew says:

    This boykie is certainly a keeper. Apron strings notwithstanding, the mammele can write! Fantastic. Hang onto him for dear life, kiss his mother for sending him to a school that emphasised grammar and spelling, and buy him an MTN contract for Pesach.

  5. Jon says:

    Kevin, it’s all in good fun, I’m pretty cool with her teasing and making fun of me…. hell, you’d probably say it’s revenge for what I subject her to.

    I don’t emotionally blackmail you Sheena, otherwise known as 082 [etc] 😉

  6. Kevin says:

    glad to see you guys are still together after this posting. But I had to say something being a “jewish boyfriend” myself. Ok shebee you can use the online dictionary then, and i’ll go back to being my acquiescent self. cheers guys and gals

  7. geekrebel says:

    I would have pointed out 31 min, 31 seconds, if only for the additional impact of saying “31” twice.

    If it was 7 min, 7 seconds, I could perhaps forgive you for making a link to Judaism, but as it stands, you’re being OCID (obsessive compulsive identifying disorder)

  8. TC says:

    I love that he thinks Vodakak give a damn and I fear for him if he thinks MTN would be better – but you are right, dear 082, he is the cutest

  9. niqabi says:

    MORAL OF THE STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    always remember to Bcc: !!!!!!!!!! so that the whole world dosent know your moms email address! or that you sent a copy to her :))))))))))))

  10. Hardspear says:

    He should have written that very letter as a complaint letter. I get good results on complaint letters I’ve composed with a dictionary and thesaurus in hand. The loftier the letter, the quicker the response.

  11. Mam says:

    Jon my dear, I love the way you have such an excellent command of the English language and that you grind your teeth (sometimes very loudly). Sheena-Laura has loved using big words since she was a little girl and your hot potato accent thrills her to bits. I hope Vodacom was mortified at their apalling behaviour and I don’t think you fall into the “pedantic male” syndrome yet, your time is precious and no-one has 31min and 31 seconds in one given day to hold for an operator who was probably procastinating taking calls as they were resting or at lunch. Fifi, this one is definitely a keeper and you both deserve each other. Love you both.

  12. BlindCripple says:


    I’m allowed to laugh at all of the above as I’m Jewish. Jewish humour and sarcasm is brilliant 🙂

    SheeeeeBeeeeee, you’re lucky. Keep him around.

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