Mrs Shmetzmer


One of the most surreal things one will ever do, is change their name. All your life you’ve been known as one name, and then just because you meet someone you decide you’ll grow wrinkly with, the expectation from society is that you’ll change your surname. I was always against this. I felt like I was my own damn person so I’d keep my own damn surname and that’s that. Why go through all the admin. Why put myself through hours of torture at Home Affairs, and then hours of torture waiting for SA Post Office to deliver all my new documentation.

And then I filled in the marriage certificate and I knew with all my heart, that I wanted the new surname. I wanted the admin. I wanted the weirdness of getting used to a new name. Because it is the name of my husband. It it the name we will share with our children. It is the name that immediately tells people something major in my life has taken place. It is the name that says he chose me, and I chose him. It’s the name where I declare that I’m only ever going to make sexy times with one person for the rest of my life.

And so I wait for home affairs to register our marriage, so that I can go and get me a new surname. Because I’m still my own damn person, but I’ll get me a new surname and that’s that.

On that note, our wedding was amazing. It was everything we wanted and more. It was epic having all our loved ones under one roof. It was just as weird as I thought it’d be having our families meet for the first time. I laughed, I cringed, I cried, I danced, I giggled and I snogged my brand new and shiny husband. He looked very handsome, and my heart just about bungee jumped to my spleen when we did our first look photo shoot.

Some of the highlights of our day:

  • I was so preoccupied with the bloody bra that I spent R900 on which didn’t fit me, that in the few minutes I had before walking down the spiral aisle, I spent them changing bras instead of remembering to prepare my notes for our vow exchange.  Wasn’t awkward at all when I stood in the middle of everyone and had to grab my iPad, log into my blog, load my draft and then read the vows all in a breathless voice.



  • We said our I Dos to the words “Until death or zombies do you part”.
  • As part of the wedding ceremony, we became FBO, and our friends did a Facebook thumbs up in real life.  Because, dorks.
  • The beautiful Goose rapped Eminem as part of her MCing of the wedding.  To ease Jon’s very frazzled nerves before his speech.  Watch it here.  How amazing?!
  • I had both my parents walk me down the aisle:


  • Watching our loved ones play with the participation packs throughout our ceremony (my favourite bit was the party flutes that sounded like a giant swarm of bees, blown in celebration of the I Dos).
  • We had balloons and buttons instead of flowers:



  • Both Jon’s dad and my daughter’s photos were just above and behind our table during the reception, watching over everything, it was very special.


  • This special little dude who lead the wedding team:


  • Our colourful wedding team (this one is a bad quality pic, sorry):

wedding team

  • Our first kiss (before ceremony started):

first kiss

  • Our spiral aisle (we wanted to get married while surrounded by all our favourite people):


  • The beautiful (and delicious!) wedding koek:


  • We had a selfiebooth filled with all sorts of props and signs:



  • And this moment with my beautiful bridesmaid, Tam:




  1. Gina says:

    Awwwww. Having a small sob at my desk.

    Wishing you both years and years and years of love, joy, mazel and nachas!

  2. Heidi says:

    It was an honour being able to share your day with you. Loved every minute, have seldom seen 2 puzzle pieces that fit more effortlessly than you two weirdos. xx

  3. MeeA says:

    Ah, love it! Wishing you more happiness together than you can squeeze into any number of lifetimes! 🙂
    I was also pretty convinced before I got married that I would keep my own surname and then had that same moment while signing the marriage register… 😛
    Congratulations, Mr & Mrs. Kretzmer!

  4. Bergen Larsen says:

    It was a lovely ceremony, I’m so glad I could share your special day with the two of you.

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