Morning After Pill and Me

Oh my word! I did it again. I managed to humiliate myself, all for someone else!

“Sheen I need a favour” says Friendwhogotlucky.

“god – I refuse to go buy you condoms again, the Clicks staff always look at me funny” says I.

“Am not God, damnit – but I promise I will make it up to you if you go fetch the morning after for me. Please? I can’t get out of the office and you don’t want another godchild on your hands, do you?”

*Sigh* I’m such a sucker for punishment.

So I pick up the phone and call the Chemist. “hello, um – this is….Sarah speaking. I wonder if it is possible you could get a -big breathe and rush through the words: morningafterpill ready for me to collect, in a wrapped up package so I dont have to look at it?”

To which, the Chemist replied:

“Em. No. You must fill out a form wiz your I.D. noomber, residential address and sign a foorm seeying you doon’t want a bay-bee ”

Ah, fuck.

Rush to the chemist, fill in fake details, pray to allah no one finds out, touch wood I don’t jinx myself in any way (Lord knows, I’ve been through enough this year)

Beetroot Red, I hand over the money and run to the car. Only to start up the engine and realize I’ve left the blasted package behind.

“Mees Sarah, you left your Morrrning Affter Peel behind! Here eet ees”
Silently, I snatch it up, turn my back, proverbial tail between my legs and die inside, quietly. As I walk out the door, I over hear a Granny asking her lovely grandson;

“Deary, whatever is a Morning After Pill for? After what, exactly?”
Kill me now.