Monday 20Q with Tertia Albertyn!



Tertia Albertyn and I go way back. Seriously, I’m not just name dropping here by any means. In August 2003 I joined the SA Preemies support group for parents of Premature babies. Or at least, my momma did for me since I was stuck in hospital on bed rest. There I came into contact via email with Tertia. She had just given birth to twin boys, Ben and Luke. Sadly, she lost both her boy babies, and I was absolutely devestated for her. I remember thinking how cruel the world was, and being grateful that my situation was far less worse, little did I know.




Tannie T, as I affectionately call her, contacted me a few months later, after Kiera had died, and sent me a link to Ben’s memorial site, and advised me to do one for Kiera in the name of healing. Or something. I did so, and also started reading her blog, way back when in 1962. Or, 2004 – wha evah, you guys are so bloody anal about dates!

This was the start of a beautiful, if not awkward internet, friendship. I have followed Tertia’s story of infidelity infertility closely throughout the years, and despite being called an asshole frequently, I have come to respect and admire this role model wonder woman who I had no idea would become as famous as she has over the years. Lucky me, I know how to pick ’em.


For those of you who live under a rock, and have never read her book or seen her about in O magazine, Fair Lady, Femina, YOU, Women24 or watched her on SABC 3’s Power Within, eTV’s Great Expectations or Carte blanche, or been present at one of her motivational talks, Tertia has gone through a shit load in her quest to be a mother again. Finally, after many years of heart ache, the loss of way too many pregnancies, one live birth of Ben (Luke died in utero) and a journey in far too much knowledge of her insides, Adam & Kate were born and are now the lights of her life and her reason for breathing. I personally cannot think of any other infertile more deservant of motherhood.



Tertia, I’m not going to ask you about your books or anything serious on Infertility, as I’m sure you’ve had that up to your ears. What I will ask, is what is your most favourite thing about being a Momma?
The opportunity to be able to love so completely, so utterly


Do you ever second guess yourself on having twins?
The first six months were hell. I thought i had made the biggest mistake of my life but slowly it gets easier and easier as they get older and then it gets to a point where having twins is easier than having a singleton, same schedule etc.


Adam and Kate have become borderline celeb kids in same manner as Pilo Shitt. Ahem, I mean Shilo Pitt. How does this make you feel?
I dont know, I’ve never thought of it that way actually.


You have a huge following, and your readers often give you seven different shades of hell. This must be one of the worst things about being so open about yourself and your loved ones?
It is difficult, but it also forces me to be brutally honest with myself, and true to myself. there is no place to hide. i detest fence sitters, blogging so openly forces me not to be a fence sitter.


Sometimes your reader comments frighten even me, in the way they second guess you…
I know. i’ve learnt to ignore the real fruitcakes


On the other hand though, your blog is the one I come to when I need inspiration and to see support of a writer/female/mother/blogger… of which you are all.
The one thing i keep telling myself is that 99% of the feedback i get is overwhelmingly positive. Ok, so the 1% are REALLY bad, but its only 1%. That helps me. But to have a full time, online, 24 hour on call support base of potential friends, doctors, psychiatrists etc – thats huge.


Your worst experience of fruit cakes? I remember a while back you had someone posting as a dead child?
The very worst thing that happened to me is that i somehow managed to offfend one reader, and she started a huge vendetta against me. She formed a secret website dedicated to bashing me, saying nasty things about me. I shouldn’t have cared so much, but i did. I was terribly upset, they said some pretty nasty things.


My late boyfriend bought a copy of your book, and felt that poor Marko didn’t get enough credit (in the book) for his part in making A & K. We actually had a huge argument over this. How does he handle the whole sperm donating bit, ever get teased by mates?
I suppose it is a guy thing. Let me put it this way: in order for us to have a baby, we both had to play a part. Marko had to donate some sperm. I had to undergo 3 diagnostic operations, 9 IVF’s, many, many months of hyper stimulation with hormones, injections, blood draws, 100’s of doctors appointments, bloated ovaries, transvaginal aspiration of the eggs. So um, yeah. the donating sperm thing? He can do that.


You’ve spoken about his anal tendancies before, hows that working for him these days, having two ankle biters around?
Its been a massive adjustment for him. i do feel sorry for him sometimes. i’ll give him credit for that, he has relaxed his analness a lot! He is still anal, but he also knows when it just let it go. We balance each other out well – I am way too soft wth the kids, and he makes sure they dont wreck the entire house.


What does Tertia do for Tertia?
I must have alone time. i need alone time to calm my crazy insides down, so I take an hour every night, completely on my own, in front of the computer with a glass of wine and i read blogs, check email etc. That is tertia time.


Do you still maintain your nose is smaller than sister Mels?
It is smaller!


What were your first words this morning?
"So, are you not dead?" Am terrible, unsympathetic wife – Marko had chest pains last night, said he might die during the night. I told him not to wake me, its just indigestion. You know what men are like.


Oh yes. Self professed wine lover, what would you drink if wine was discontinued?
Shite, difficult one. Probably savanah light during the day and G&T’s at night.


If I could give you a goody bag with 5 items, what would they be?
Sjoe, hold – nice question. I want to take some time to daydream about getting a goody bag like that… Must think properly about what i want in it.


(…some minutes go by) Good lord woman, i said FIVE ITEMS!
Ha! Some kind of foot balm thing. I am very into making sure my feet look nice. Then, a nice face mask thingy, something cooling and calming. A back massage thingy that I could massage my own back, some pretty hair clips to tie my hair up with and a new bottle of perfume – I’ve run out of my old one and i need a change


Very nice! Which perfume do you need a change from?
Before i got pregnant I wore Angel for years. But once I was pregnant, I couldn’t stand the smell of it, so now i’ve been kind of flitting between perfumes, not really sure what i like. I won a bottle of Nina Ricci, I think its called.


I was sent over 20 emails requesting you as an interviewee (after I had already decided on you, mind), which proves that my readers not only are cheating assholes, but admirers of you. SO. What are your final words, to the fans:
Life is too short to be unhappy. Follow your dream, believe in yourself and never do things just because you are supposed to. Do things that feel right to you. If I had listened to all the people who told me that God/Fate/Nature didn’t want me to be a mother, then I wouldn’t have my two beautiful children today. Don’t live a half life, follow your heart.




Read more on Tertia, her babies Adam & Kate, Sergeant major Marko (who’s actually just a marsh mellowy type of nice guy), Rose the domestic with attitude, Sister Mel (with the bigger nose) & the grandparents daily on her website, So Close. It is in popular demand, and its a race to comment first. Lots of variety and spice up for grabs, and believe it or not, its not only for the fembots, guys read her too.


To buy Tertia’s book written in hilarious detail of her infertile journey, click this link.