Miss Popularity

Today has been the weirdest day. I must have pissed someone off in a big way cos that bitch Karma hates me right now.

I’m house sitting again, for one of my favourite clients. The Clients house is way up in the top of Too Much Money land, their house is stunning. Try 6 bathrooms, 5 bedrooms, overlooking the ocean, with a kick ass kitchen to boot. I love stayin in this house.

So i lie in bed after I wake up this morning, trying to decide weather I want to do a smoothie, cuppacino, full on english breakfast, or just plain meuslie and yogurt? I get out of bed and crawl thru the house, noticing how weird and dark the house is looking, and there is the most annoying beeping screaming out from somewhere in the house. Eventually I realize half way to the kitchen its the alarm system. The electricity is off. Ah crap. There goes my coffee and breakfast story…

No coffee. Every appliance and coffee maker you can think of right in front of me, but no power to use it. But then i realize how this affects my day. No tv (they dont make tv’s that run on gas), no cell phone (battery flat), no laptop (charger wont work) no coffee. One of those days where you should just get back into bed and pull the duvet back over your head. But no, what do i do? i decide I actually want to do something and not to be alone.

Only problem… everyone else i know has different ideas.

I look outside and the weather is crap. No beach for me then. I’ll go to movies! Can’t decide who tho, so I revert to my usual method and make it a first come, first serve basis. whoever answers first, I spend the day with…

Message I send out to Kim, B, Flea, My Gay Plus one, Leon:

Yo, I’m bored. Lets do movies?

**Wait five minutes. (FIVE minutes??? wtf. I know these people. They type faster than that.)


Kim: Sorry luv – in jhb for the weekend. Rain check?

Me: Aw, not… I’m bored now, Kimbo.

B: Dude, I’m too lazy to get out of bed.

Me: Hmmm. Ok, cant argue with that. (i know B – when he’s lazy, you can plant TnT under him and he wont flinch a milli metre).

Flea: I ain’t going near the mall, its Sunday. It is holiday season. There are Vaalies. I am scared.

Me: What a fuckin wussy. You suck.

**Lie back on the bed for another five minutes… still no reply from Gay boy. Consider smsing Friendwithbenefits. Gasp! The unthinkable! I do it anyway, atleast he is always keen to see me, no matter when or why…

Hey, FriendWithBenefits*, I know I’ve been quiet lately, sorry luv… been SO busy. Wanna let me make it up to you by doing movies today?

Reply: UM, hey Sheen. Sorry I cant make it, Im spendin today with my GIRLFRIEND.

Seriously, he literally typed Girlfriend in CAPS!!!! Like this: today with my GIRLFRIEND! What the hell. News to me, thats for sure. And was it really necessary to mention that anyway? Couldn’t he have said, I’m busy hun, sorry. Maybe next time?

I am heart broken. Not because I want him myself or anything like that. I’m heart broken that I am now officially the only, ONLY, only single person in my social circle.

Spot the error.

So I sms one more message, to Leon. Trusty old Leon.

Me: Fuck you, you WILL do movies with me. You HAVE to, there is a crisis.

My Gay Plus One, Leon: Okaaaay, only if you promise to change out of those ridiculously nerdy pants you have on.

Me: Um, what the hell?! you can’t even see me!

My Gay Plus One, Leon: Darling, can you honestly tell me you look good right now? We all know about you and your gross pants. Get out of them and pick me up in half an hour, tart.

Me: Oh. My. Word. You are paying!

Seriously now, whoever I pissed off, please say you forgive me cos I didnt mean it. Maybe then Karma will exnay on the bad luck! i JUST wanna have a good time. Thats all. I’m a nice person, really, I am. I don’t deserve this shit.

*not his actual name