MIL VISITING – 911! 911!

Two days ago, Jon and I officially didn’t celebrate the fact that we’ve been together for 5 years.  Firstly, because everyone keeps telling us that our old anniversary doesn’t count anymore, and secondly because actually we forgot.  Marriage, the real romance killer.  Haha, I’m just joking – we’ve decided that we’ll still go all out, but focus on our new, proper, married anniversary.  So bring on June 21 2015 – because I got schnaaed out of being spoilt rotten since our last anniversary was up to me to arrange.  NERT KERL, JERN!

In the 5 years we have been together, and in the 4-odd years we’ve lived together, Jon’s mom has never been to our home.  She lives in CT now, so that’s probably the biggest reason.  But now, we’ve convinced her to come up and visit – so she’ll be here on Friday, the day before my birthday, for one night and then the following Thursday for another night or so.  I AM SO NERVOUS!

Basically, it means we need to renovate the entire house.  Also, we need new curtains and linen and carpets and a better bed and OHMYGODLETSCHANGEVERYTHINGJONSMOMISCOMING!

Thoughts:

  • What if she finds a spec of dirt somewhere?
  • Thank god I don’t smoke anymore*
  • What do I feed her? What if she hates my food? (How often do Mothers In Law need to be walked**?)
  • Are there enough Jon-family photos in our house? Oh shit, there are way more of my family photos.  MUST REARRANGE ALL THE PHOTO FRAMES IMMEDIATELY.
  • Has Thembi dusted the pantry shelves recently?
  • Do I get rid of all the evidence of sexual things in our house like Lube, the un-used condoms from 2011, my lingerie? God forbid she knows her son has S.E.X. That would be terribly embarrassing.
  • GET RID OF ALL THE PORK IN THE FREEZER!

Of course, in my brief to Thembi this morning, I asked her to start making everything perfect.  So she cleaned the carpets of the bedrooms and forgot to air out the room and now everything smells like sour milk up in this place. THANKS THEMBS!  She came into the room with her nose blocked now just before she left for the day and apologised and blamed her pregnancy brain.  We’ve all been there, I suppose.

Any advice for me, you guys?

 

 

*Oh, yes, btw, I’m no longer a smoker.  5 weeks free and counting from cigarettes.  Thanks, Twisp!

** That’s just a silly joke to showcase my ignorance of how to host a Mother In Law, this is my first one you know! I’m totally out of my comfort zone here, people!

 

9 comments

  1. Laura says:

    I so badly want to say “DONT DO IT”! Fake a cockroach investation and pay for everyone to stay at Monte or something.

    But I suppose this is a right of passage to being a wife?

    So do the best you can and feel secure in the knowledge, you already have a ring on it :-p

  2. Angel says:

    DON’T PANIC!
    You know she likes you & your relationship has her blessing.
    Getting rid of the pork & clean sheets is great. And maybe keeping your furbabies out of her room ’til she goes home.
    Put a vase of her fav flowers in her room & make sure she has nice clean towels, and her fav brand of tea-coffee-wine in ample supply.

  3. Stef says:

    Firstly, hilarious 🙂
    Secondly, congrats on the smoking!!! That’s huge!!
    Thirdly, I’m sure she’s telling all of her friends she cannot wait to go visit her son and his new beautiful, wonderful, amazing new daughter in law that makes her son so happy.

    Easy peasy sweetie, just breathe and make her feel at home. Oh, and spoil her rotten. But not so much that she wants to stay forever.

    Xx

  4. Pieletjies says:

    If she is super kosher, you may want to investigate some Kosher restaurants, there are a few around the Rosebank area.
    If she ain’t so kosher, then there’s nothing like a bacon and cheeseburger with a milkshake to make her feel welcome in your humble abode.

  5. BiancaW says:

    No advice because the other comments have it all wrapped up. Stef and Pieletjies – you had me laughing out loud!

  6. MeeA says:

    What Angel said, lots. But also what all the other ladies said. And also, if you take her out lots – show her the Jozi sights and all – there’ll be less time for her to spot any imperfections in your home.
    My biggest mistake with the in-laws when David and I first got together was that I tried too hard. If I’d been less eager to please and more myself from the beginning, we could probably have avoided the first 6/7 years of animosity, because I would’ve simply told them to get fucked from the get go. Strangely enough, after I finally grew the balls to cut them out of my life, things changed dramatically and after their not having seen the grandkids for about a year, I finally agreed to let David take the kids to see their grandparents one afternoon. And from there, we sort of started over… But I digress.
    You are incredibly blessed to have married a man whose family already adores you – just relax and be yourself. She’s expecting to see the same person her son brought home before. You’ll be perfectly fine!

  7. mandimadeit says:

    Yay. Well done for the smoking thing.
    When my MIL came to stay with me (FOR A MONTH) I set her room up with a few luxuries I knew she would love and wouldn’t splurge on for herself, like: New fluffy gown and slippers, a box of chocolates, a pile of magazines, bubble bath, fresh flowers and a bottle of scotch. Haha, she loooooved me the MOST.

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