men! and there suckiness.

I have decided to become one of those chics that I have always envied. I have converted myself into a celibate, lesbian Nun. Why, you may ask? Because I hate men. Thats why. Let me tell you what I hate about the fuckers:

  • They get to keep their last name forever. Although I get alot of Bill jokes (my surname is Gates) I happen to like my last name.
  • They get to become a President just because they have a willy.
  • They never have to be pregnant.
  • They can wear a white T-shirt to a water park, or even NO T-shirt.
  • The world is their urinal. That really pisses me off. I wouldn’t mind whipping it out while being stuck on a road trip with no garage stops nearby.
  • Wrinkles add character to men, for us girls it means expense in the surgical department.
    The occasional burp is practically expected. Now I bet you a million bux that even if I knew how to burp loudly, I would be gasped at if I did it in public.
  • Mens underwear is R49.95 for a three-pack. I have yet to find a decent pair of panties I like for that price. Unless you count the granny panties I got for christmas.
  • Three pairs of shoes are more than enough for them. That is bloody insane!
  • One mood all the time. Impossible!
  • Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. This is a phenomenon to me, honestly.
  • Five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. Hmmm ok, fine. Turn your clothes inside out on the second day, see if I care!
  • They can open all their own jars.
  • They only have to shave their face and neck. Revert to my veet post if you dont know why this is an issue for me.
  • Shorts can be worn no matter how kak your legs look.
  • They can “do” their nails with a pocket knife.

It is official. I hate them. And I hate being ignored, just incase you wondered what prompted this post. You know who you are. In closure, I am feeling a slight resemblance to a sexually repressed homosexual woman of the cloth.