Meltdown

It’s been a long year.  A fun, happy, exhilarating and exhausting and emotional year.  Some of the best highlights of my life happened this year, so I’m very grateful.  But I’m also burnt out, completely.  Last week I had a proper meltdown, emotionally.  One of those crawl-into-bed-in-a-fetal-position meltdowns.  I sent instructions to Jon to fetch me things from the chemist and I checked out of reality for 24 hours.  It was very much needed.

I’m still not 100%, but I’m trying to be.  I think I just took on too much and didn’t say no enough.  And then of course there are forces out of my control which affected me too.  I can’t do anything about that but pretend I’m a lifeboat in an ocean and whether the tide.

So that’s where I’m at right now.  Lifeboating.  Cave-moding.  I’ll live through it, I always do, but it’s been so long that I almost forgot I was capable of feeling this low.

That’s all I have to say right now.

10 comments

  1. CC says:

    You have been super busy! and physical exhaustion amplifies other stresses etc. Glad you cried it out, that helps, and don’t worry it’s almost December holidays, as you said you will live through it, you know everything gets better 🙂 Hang in there. Plus you did have a really amazinggggggggggg year getting married.

    Don’t worry so much, it causes alot of shit. If you can’t change something don’t stress, just accept it. (I of course do the opposite hah hah)

  2. Miss_k says:

    *street cred aside* Warm fuzzy hugs your way my friend…lol You’re still my gangster hood friend, lots of love

  3. Goose says:

    I can tell you with confidence that in a year like you’ve had, what you’re feeling is completely OK, and that next year will feel much calmer, more together, and probably a little boring by comparison.
    Resist the urge to “change all the things!” next year when you feel things are a little slow, revel in the comparative calm, reconnect and find Sheena-Zen-Space.

    Also – ask for help, cos we’re all here for you.

    xxx

  4. Cath says:

    Sometimes, the cave is a requirement, not an indulgence.

    And, honestly, after this year, I wouldn’t blame you if you stayed in the cave until March.

    Love you. X

  5. MeeA says:

    It has been an incredibly hectic year and don’t forget, even though it’s a happy event, getting married is one if the top ten “traumatic” events a person can experience. Add to that having pulled it off in less than half the time most people do, plus an unendingly demanding career, and you’ve handled it like a rock star! Hope you’re feeling your fabulous self again soon!

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